When I counsel parents and their children; the language and terminology they use is very important.
Michelle Stone

Hi Michelle Stone, I definitely appreciate and hear what you’re saying, and I agree that it works when both parties are genuinely interested in a common goal. Perhaps the point we differ on is the genuineness of the other party to enter into a wider discussion.

From my experience, the “I don’t like the way you said it” comment is often used to halt and / or derail a conversation about racism. In this case, it has been explained time and time again, but the focus must always come back to “I don’t like hearing white people are racist.” So we never really get past the issues of a white persons feelings, and thus spend time explaining what we are really saying or coddling and reassuring them that racism is not about individual bad people doing mean things, but instead about societal institutions that supports white supremacy.

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