METH IS A COMPLICATED STORY
Hi Veronica. Thanks so much for sharing your story here. That takes courage and I applaud you for putting it out there like this. It was hard to read, and I am sorry for what has clearly been a tough go with your mother.
Though not on the level you have lived through, I can certainly relate to much of what you say here. Being a middle aged gay male living in an urban center, as well as a professional researcher working in HIV and trauma, I have witnessed the wide net meth addiction has cast in the gay community as well as others.
Since the early 2000's I have witnessed friends as they lost jobs, relationships, and have seen most of them test HIV positive, often related to meth use and the increased risk taking in sexual behavior that often follows.
But, at the same time, I do understand the very real and intoxicating draw of it, as like many other gay men my age I have experimented with meth too. Though now, at 48 it’s something I’d rather not complicate my life with, and I am thankful that for whatever reason I was lucky enough to not have negative consequences. Do I know why I was able to walk away and another can’t? No, I don’t think anyone does. Much of the current research points to a complicated combination of three factors; genetics, certain personality factors, and the social or life circumstance one is in when they begin to use that puts them at an increased risk for problems or addiction. Whatever the reason, it is still a very real danger that is causing huge trauma in so many lives and communities. I’m glad you’re naming it.
I sincerely hope your mother is able to get clean and that you are able to know the kind of relationship with her you deserve. All the best.