Image: A G Rae


travels through a gay minefield

One night only.
Nasty, filthy verbal fun with co dependent emotionally 
barren, internet porn obsessed twisted bear pig expertly 
abridging maleness and masculinity, cardboard cut out
constructions at an Eagle or Ramrod near you.

Perched in masculine drag such pretty butch outfits.
Hiking boots soiled with heavy trek all the way car to bar.
Visual referencing of too similar an affect worn, owned 
by bigot oppressors, the price paid for obsessive focus
of soul crushing appropriation.

Seeking out a fine line of difference.

We covet, we loathe, we love it, agonizing, lusting, 
fetishizing it, all the while blithely, bitterly despising it
hating to own it, fuck it, use it, consume it, be it … all.
A longing for courage, the fine line of difference that
shutters beyond the midnight hour when masks are shed
and what remains is never contrived, a sometimes resonant
flicker to realization within, expressed beyond those skin
deep affectations.

Skin does not confine to role, too easily convenient 
top / bottom, sub / dom constructions where real skin is 
authentically loathe to ingrain those, yet what is sought,
that thing moving beyond margins; questions of long 
enshrined narratives; penetration has a polarity, an 
engulfment to embodiment.

The fine line of difference.

True skin knows it, can call it direct, manifesting strong
assured comfort, evident in carriage, evident in gut. 
Archetype present, requisite balls intact, needing 
never a reference.

In 2006 Allan Rae left a career as a flight paramedic to obtain his MFA in creative nonfiction. Today he is a qualitative public health researcher exploring intersections of HIV, PTSD, and stigma using a narrative focused model of inquiry. The editorial lead for creative nonfiction at daCunha, and the creator and editorial director of Crossin(G)enres, he admits to a mild Starbucks addiction, and is an avid collector of stray dogs.