New year, new me bay bee! The past is in the past. Realized what doesn’t work, and I have a goal and a plan. The very first is to lose weight. And just try my best to eat clean and meat & diary free.

September 21, 2021 All is true, Death is inevitable, Tomorrow is promised to no one, Tell your loved ones you love them, Hug them, hold them, squeeze them tight, Take pictures, And pray for every day You’re still alive.

I hate feeling this way. It’s so petty and trivial, I know. But just the sentiment, the “pathetic” sentiment of waiting for a dude to text you “good morning”. I don’t know man but I might just go back to sleep.

I got hoovered again. May 5th 2021 previous to that: February 21, 2021 October 12, 2020 September — text August — calls and voicemail July — calls and voicemail Relationship ended July 20 2020 It’s all so unbelievable.

I’m ready to kill, let god kill, everything left and lingering inside of me — that is attached to loser ex narcs — vices — coping and comforts that are not godly — and just finally put the “cherry on top” and take care of my body. Heavenly babe coming your way. Cant touch this.

A lot has happened. And I’m just so exhausted now to even write about it all but. I’m fucking ready to wake up at 4/5/6 AM and kick ass, be bad ass, and just make myself so much better than I ever was with all those losers. Anger and revenge — shall be channeled into motivation to honor GOD, my mom, my dad, my grandma, — my sensei, and every positive person aka Angel friends who have supported me and are still here today.

Got a full refund on the dildo. Used it one last time. Hated it. Despised it. Disgusted I gave into the demons and spirit of lust. Threw it away at 3:40 in the morning. Bye demons. Never giving into any form of lust ever again.