Take me to twenty five
If I could be 25 for a night, would I be going to a club in LA with my girls or would I be with my soulmate on the couch in New York watching old reruns of How I Met Your Mother? Would I be in Dubai performing at a Ted Talk about personal growth or would I be giving a speech in India about feminism? Or would I be homeless and giving up on myself? There are endless possibilities for my future. Seeing as the most part of my imaginary future is positive, I would think it is exciting to sneak a peek at what 25 would be like, but I’m glad I can’t. If I knew what was to come I’d have expectations, and expectations are deadly. See if I saw myself on the Red Carpet at 25 with money, fame and love, I’d just sit around and wait for that future to come to me which is exactly what would kill the chances of that future. Uncertainty allows you to get out there and take opportunities and keep trusting in the Universe to give you a positive life.
In truth, I’m glad I’m not 25. I’m glad I still have a home to live in and a mother to look out for me. I’m glad I still have countless new people to meet. I’m glad I have time to be several different versions of myself before I realize all those versions are one person. I’m glad I still have an opportunity to skip class to lie on a hammock, surrounded with good friends and beautiful music. Because on that Tuesday afternoon as I watched the pastel blue sky turn into a late afternoon I was able to understand the utmost significance of my existence. If I am 25 and earning big money for a job I love working at, I may not have time to look at the sky and appreciate the nature that surrounds me. At 25 I may simply be too busy to have such epiphanies. This realization that one day I won’t be able to have this realization is quite the paradox, isn’t it?
See, I’m 18 at this particular moment for a reason, and when I hit 25, I will be ready. 18 is the age when I am mature enough to dig deep into my own self, but young enough to make mistakes in the process. My friend Musa said it best when he said growing is like a building construction; you must dig deep to create a foundation so the wind (life challenges) will not knock it down. The construction never ends. We think we’ll have everything sorted out once we’re in our thirties, our businesses and marriages are successful, and we’re still a little young. But life doesn’t work that way. We are never done growing. The construction keeps going and will only be complete when we have left this world. It’s exhausting to think of what kind of building you want to construct, but that’s why we have such a long life ahead of us. Each stage has a different level of construction. You must only take the next step.
As for now, I can embrace the fact that the only thing certain for me is the messy uncertainty that is my life right now. And that, my friends, is my first step.
