Love Letter to the Streetlights

You have been there as long as I can remember.

You illuminated every dreary walk home, brightened every late night perched on the edge of the sidewalk. On a few memorable and lonely nights I peeked, with my heart racing, out my front window to see you and your beckoning warmth. All the times I snuck out of my single-story house, I could count on you to be there at the edge of the street, ready to show me the way to the next adventure. I ran off into the night with you at my side, the only witness to all of the trouble I caused.

You marked an integral of my childhood. Of countless nights driving, feeling your presence in my car, there and gone, there and gone. Those times you flickered, your presence wavering like you couldn’t go on. Like this was finally the moment where you would go out and never come back. I worried that you were going to stop helping me, stop pointing out all my options. There were places I went where you couldn’t follow and when I looked up and noticed you gone I thought that I was the last person on Earth. When you weren’t there, I worried. Could I make it without you?

Despite all the time I spent looking up at you, I managed to learn about myself. I learned that you can take up space when you feel small, that you don’t have to be functional to be helpful. I learned that guiding someone down the right path can be the most important part of their journey, even if you can’t quite lead them away from all the wrong ones.

In my memories, you stood tall — seeming larger than I could ever be. I never stopped looking up to you and that 45 watt smile. And best of all, you were consistent, appearing late at night just when I thought I was going to be lost forever.

But that was when I was afraid of the dark. My child-like fear prevented me from realizing that how much bigger and better the world was when I didn’t need you. So I forced myself into the dark, made friends with the shadowy corners. I embraced the fear that surrounded me and let it cover me with its cold. And I grew.

Now I don’t even notice when I see you. I can be bright all on my own.