It seems that generationally, there has been a major shift!
Now, instead of R&B artists begging and pleading, they are being honest about how messed up they are. Particularly how they only want sex, cars, and money.
In the realm of Hip-Hop this was never really a question. You had general exceptions such as LL Cool J, or certain songs where they bragged about their wealth and finances through splurging on that “one,” special lady.
But in the genre of Rhythm and Blues it has been a jarring experience for women. We went from being the center of affection to them openly crooning about one night stands, hookups, and how much they don’t need us!
I feel neglected and I’m not even in a relationship.
Take current R&B artist, “Brent Faiyaz.”
His woes in love are expected, given the narcissistic tone of his lyrics, but it is a consequence he seemingly happily obliges as long as he gets to express his lustful desires.
In the song, “Clouded,” he pleas:
I feel like dyin’ every season
I’ve been swimmin’ in the deep end
All my b*tches know I’m leavin’ at some point
Whether there’s a reason or not
Don’t try givin’ me reasons to stop
And while we can shame him for his sinful deeds, he is not ashamed of his disposition. As he states in that third line, these women are well aware that he is not one to stick around.
He is not the hoe you try to turn into a husband.
But there is also a reflection on how his mental state impacts his sexual conquests. He may be emotionally numb to the act, given his own misguided internal war or, “demons,” as he calls it.
And Faiyaz is not the only crooner who expresses similar sentiments. Though Rapper and R&B artist Drake has plenty of music seemingly praising women, he also has some of the most degrading lyrics towards them.
On the track, “TSU,” from his recent album, “Certified Lover Boy,” he says,
We used to do pornos when you would come over but now you got morals and shit
The song insinuates that he can no longer carry on with this woman because she isn’t willing to degrade herself for meaningless sex.
He even brings up her daddy issues, how her parents don’t support her, and how she had to turn to stripping before she could start up her business.
It’s a cold world!
And while we shouldn’t expect all artists to present themselves as model citizens and husband to be’s, it is interesting to note that trending R&B artists and songs have seemingly moved away from love ballads.
Considering the stresses and strains that the pandemic has placed on many, it is no surprise that even in the month of February people have closed their ears to a lot of traditional love songs.
Summer Walker’s latest release, “Still Over it” details her own issues with the father of her kid, and such an album would probably be a hit in current divorcee Kim Kardashian’s home.
There has been a war on love, and with the number of divorces in the U.S. being 34% higher since the initial lockdown, our hearts are generally losing.
From Lucky Daye’s, “Over,” and Giveon’s, “Heartbreak Anniversary,” R&B artists are no exception to this general change in mood. The music reflects a state of unhappiness that many have grown accustomed to.
Will there ever be a return to the Boys II Men anthems or Jagged Edge’s “Let’s Get Married?” Time can only tell.
But the breakups and open disdain against chivalry may also be a good thing!
I feel that a lot of those early groups and songs were made with women in mind, but not as an honest expression of love. It seemed moreso to be a charade for album sales and streams, and the themes changed as the years went on.
Now, men are incorporating more of the boastfulness of Hip-Hop into R&B to state the truth; they are emotionally unavailable and using sex to cope through mental anguish.
The brutal honesty has proven to be a hit, and when many couples are already struggling as it is, why expect the music coming out currently to reflect a long-forgotten fantasy?
There are also exceptions to this rule in the 90’s and even further back. The themes of hateful breakups and sleeping around is not new.
I also believe, generationally, couples are settling down at a much longer rate than before.
There are so many memes about how our parents were married and having kids at 18, and now, Gen Z is still living with their parents and playing video games.
Somewhere along the way our developmental growth as far as romantic connections became severely stunted. While analysis can be made and blame placed on the digitalization of this era, it will be a long time before a real source is properly identified.
But, either way, while I enjoy slut-shaming men? Perhaps it is a microcosm of a much bigger problem; the modern struggles of intimacy.
So while we wait for Valentine’s dates and chocolate covered strawberries, there is more than enough room for the “I Hate You,” songs of SZA and other honest expressions of heartache.
But what can we play from today’s music when we get back to a general state of love?
We can only hope that one day we won’t all be under a collective time of blues,
so that we can eventually find the rhythms of our hearts once again.
