Disassembled.

I’ve always wanted to be the copy of someone else.
Being me was not enough.
Enough talent, beauty, dedication or strength.

I believe that I am just the sum of replicated parts -
from different people that I have admired in my life
That at any point,
those people could take their parts back.
Leaving me a skeleton of insignificance.

But while bodies may be made up of parts;
parts that can be assembled or disassembled in a moment -
Souls are made with time.

with pressure.

with experiences.

Like how glass is made.

And maybe I am really just a reflection of the truth I see in people,
not an assembly of their parts.
Maybe when I find something about a person that holds significance,
it’s because I hold that same significance myself.

That once it’s found,
I can reflect it back to the world.

I found poetry from my mother and routine from my father.
I found patience from my friends and patience from my foes.
Humor from my brother.
Stillness from my grandparents.
I found my voice from my lovers and my body from a stranger.
I found every emotion over and over again
from each person I’ve let into my heart.

I suppose I’m finding my self-worth from the only person I can.
Me.

Show your support

Clapping shows how much you appreciated Alyssa Benson’s story.