I Cleaned My Room and I’m Now a Millionaire

The Indian broom, a.k.a ‘the jhadoo’ (source)

After returning from School last week, I didn’t quite feel “back at home”. I figured it might be my room, so I decided to redesign it. Initially, I thought to myself, “Oh, it’ll be pretty simple. I’ll just rearrange the six pieces of furniture in my room as per my plan”.

Little did I know I was in for more than just pushing around heavy pieces of wood.

My compulsive desire for cleanliness probably took over my senses as I moved my bed(s). There was dust over all the storage bags under my bed(s). I fetched a broom and began to brush off clusters of dust from those bags. I looked for unoccupied space in storage cabinets, and stuffed those bags in.

Also, in case you’re wondering (I know you aren’t but here’s some funny trivia), the reason I have more than a single bed is because one ‘bed’ in my room is a repurposed sofa.

While moving around suitcases and dirt, I found an old pen that I’d won in fourth grade. What had I won? A ‘pen fight’. It’s pretty much like carrom with pens, where the loser (normally) surrenders their pen to the winner. (Yes, Amal actually won things back then.)

I thought I’d be done with dust collection after this. However, this is probably when my compulsive desire kicked in. I brushed every piece of furniture. I cleaned the ceiling fan, which seemed to have been last cleaned five million years ago. I wiped clean the window.

The storm’s coming. (source)

By now, I was sneezing every five seconds due to the dust floating around in my room. I’d saved the rest of the House from my agony by shutting the door during this ordeal. I’d sealed my own fate.

And then I did something unimaginable. I wetted a piece of sponge and wiped clean all of my walls. From top to bottom. End to end.

Did I ever think of sanitising my room to the extent where not one bacterium dared to step foot into my room? No. My room’s probably never been so clean.

Three hours had already passed by the time the room was free of any particulate matter. By now, I’d swept the room and mopped the floor nearly thrice. I’d collected about a hundred grams of dirt and dust. Amidst this dirt, I also found:

  • A few Hotwheels cars.
  • A few more pens.
  • Some crushed table tennis balls.
  • Fossilised cockroaches which date back about fifteen years ago.
  • Three grams of platinum.

I then proceeded to follow the original plan of rearranging furniture. I heaved my bed (sofa) into one corner of the room, while my real bed was moved to another end of the room. I moved my table away from my window. (I cannot sit next to my window because the air where I live is awful, and I almost immediately fall sick every time I return home from School.) My bookshelf moved to a place where I can actually open it, since I plan to read more this summer.

After all the rearranging, I swept my room once again. I found that the dust in the room was glistering. I quickly fetched some chemical analysis tools to see what was in there. You won’t believe what I found.

Is that Francium? (source)

They say that only nearly 30 grams of Francium is said to exist in the earth’s crust at a given time. I’m glad to report that I found nearly six grams of this Francium amidst the dust in my room today.

It is one of the world’s rarest naturally occurring elements, so I’m pretty rich now.

I’m glad I didn’t find any oil in my room. Or else the United States would probably be waging war with my room’s habitants, and “spreading the ideals of democracy”.

The Francium was quickly bought by somebody on craigslist, so I can’t really show it to you guys. But I can pay for college now! Yay!

Also, I think I may be mutating into a lizard.