I Outsmarted Some Pigeons

“pigeon on dried grass” by Alex Blăjan on Unsplash

Today, while walking around the School building, I glanced up to notice a row of four pigeons. Seeing that they were poised to attack the next entity that approached them, I instantly flinched from proceeding any further.

Brrrrrrrr,” beckoned a pigeon.

Another pigeon made a show of force by spreading its wings.

At that moment, I knew I was in trouble.

This isn’t the first time that pigeons have posed an active threat to my head. A few months ago, a pigeon added its own touch of shame-poo to my hair for no apparent reason. Well, to be fair, my Economics teacher had flicked my hair about a half hour before the complementary 5 mL of shame-poo. I wonder what sorcery my teacher blessed me with…

Moreover, the pigeons around School are notorious for smearing the floors of our School building with their faeces. To avoid being decorated with green and white excrement, I performed a quick computation to create a strategy that would deceive the pigeons.

The four pigeons that were perched and waiting to attack me lay more towards the right side of the corridor, leaving some wiggle-room on the left.

Pigeons (green) and my deceitful path (red) in a single corridor.

Thus, I walked swiftly in the direction of the pigeons, and veered to the left to avoid being under the pigeons. Just when I made the turn to the left, a pigeon dropped its blessings on a point on my original path.

AHA! Better luck next time sucka!” I exclaimed. Well, not really, because classes were going on. But let’s just say that outsmarting these Angry Birds has been one of the highlights of my largely mundane week.

Now that my midyear tests are over, I guess I’m a free *cough* bird at last! (Notwithstanding the writing and completion of college applications, I guess I can return to writing trash.)