Going for it… With He who I Married

Breaking Through

Amanda Kemp
Aug 23, 2017 · 2 min read

Yesterday, a woman friend sent me a link for a fellowship due last night. I immediately checked it out and saw that it looked right up my alley. But then all the “buts” came out. But they probably wouldn’t pick me. But I don’t have time. But I don’t really know if my idea is good enough. But. But. But.

Thank God, I had the sense to reach out to my fellow creatives and change makers Francis Wong and He Who I Married and get their perspective on the opportunity. In effect, these men were like “You can do it Amanda, and here’s how.” After that phone session with two trusted fellow artists I had to confront myself — my inner critic, that little voice that says “Not me. I probably would never get that… No way… etc. etc.” It’s almost instantaneous, without a conscious thought. Opportunities go by without even seeming like opportunities.

Given the way we’ve been socialized as women and as people of color or people who grew up in low income communities, it’s no wonder that this voice has a lot of practice. But I’m coming up on a half-century plus birthday in a couple of weeks, and I have to ask myself, how much longer before I’m good enough!

Here’s what I want to say today — Surround yourself with people who believe in your success. Invest your time in stuff that helps you to check that inner critic, inner doubter, and very scared part of your brain. I am a strong believer in reading, but we need experiences so don’t just read a book about positive thinking. Get yourself into a course or hire a coach. Your mind has a lot of scary, creepy crawly thoughts running around.

Mary Oliver asked “What will you do with your one wild and precious life?” I hope you’ll say yes, I’m qualified and ask for something you want!

I submitted that application last night, and I feel like I already won because I got to flesh out my vision and have it confirmed outside of myself.

Give it a try!

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I’m committed to racial justice and authentic community. Author, Facilitator, Performer and Educator

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