Think of 12 year old you. What “secrets of life” have you acquired that you would want to share with yourself?
A journaling prompt inspired by the Stoics.
#1 There’s always something to be grateful for.
No matter what’s happening – you lost your phone, you’re fighting with your best friend, you stubbed your toe – there’s always something you can be grateful for. What about the bed you slept in last night? Or that you were able to walk downstairs unassisted with your own 2 legs? Or the fact you know you’ve got a plate of food for every meal today, tomorrow, and the day after that?
Our experience of life, and whether we enjoy it or struggle to get by, is a matter of perspective. We can have all the money in the world and be miserable, living with a sense of emptiness inside. In contrast we could be living poorly, barely have enough money for food, but… if we choose to see the beauty in the gift of life, the gift we’ve been given, we could be the happiest of souls wandering this earth.
Life is a matter of perspective, and if we choose to be grateful and see the beauty in every moment only then we can guarantee ourselves a happy life. You can’t feel anger, sadness, resentment etc if you’re filled with a sense of abundance that inherently comes with expressing gratitude.
#2 Take care of yourself first.
Don’t believe the people that tell you that putting yourself first is selfish. How can you. be completely there for someone if you haven’t taken care of yourself first – if you’re unhappy or unwell. Fuel yourself first, and share that energy with those that need it.
#3 Love.
Love yourself, love others.. love all things. It doesn’t mean you have to like it. But we all come from the same place. Humans, animals and nature alike. To love something means to respect that thing. We don’t have to like a person, or agree with their point of view, but respect – across the board, is of vital importance. With respect comes understanding. Understanding is often the breading ground for empathy. And once we experience empathy for our fellow living creatures we can cultivate a commitment to the greater good of all parties. If we all loved and took care of ourselves first, then we would feel whole enough to share that abundance with all other living things. We are after all, family. An interdependent ecosystem. When one thrives, the others thrive.
#4 Stay curious, question things.
Our environment plays a massive part in shaping who we are. Culture – the people and their ways of thinking and being, whether anyone will admit it or not, do influence us. It can happen quite quickly and embed itself deeply. Different groups of people will have different belief systems that underpin their existence, that rationalise their choices and actions. Governments, religion, peer groups, family etc.
In today’s societies it is quite common to be bombarded with messages of how we should be, what’s right and wrong, what we should want, what our life should look like, what it takes to be happy and successful. These ideas are pushed on us from the moment we take our first breath, in many different ways, and from many different people. Often people we love and admire. We learn to accept them as truth without question and go about our lives thinking that’s how it should be. We develop the belief that people who don’t live like that are confused, wrong, rebellious, that they’ve been misled. We think they’re missing out on the good life.
Fuck all that. Form your own opinions. Question things. Break them apart and put them back together in a way that feels good for you. Remember lesson #3. Ask questions, stay curious. We can learn something from everyone. Everyone has a story to tell. It doesn’t mean we have to adopt those principals and beliefs for ourselves. It doesn’t mean they’re wrong or right. They’re just different. Be as open minded as you can. And then a little more.
#5 Have fun, otherwise what’s the point?
Laugh. Laugh a lot. Laugh when you’re happy, when you’re scared, sad, confused, just laugh. Laughing is fun. What’s the point in living if you’re not enjoying the ride?
#6 You’re stronger and more capable then the world gives you credit for… and you don’t need their praise anyways.
People will call you crazy. People will tell you you can’t do something. People will try to tell you how to live your life. Don’t listen to them.
Things are impossible until someone does them. It happens all the time. Write a list of things you want to do – something that will add value you to your life, or something you’re curious about and just want to try. The only rule is that it’s gotta be something that scares you. Even just a little. Something, that when you say it, you hear that little voice of fear. The one that whispers all the reasons why you can’t or shouldn’t do the thing. You know that’s not even your voice right? It’s the accumulation of all the things you’ve been told from all the people in your life projecting their own beliefs of how to live your life, right and wrong, good and bad, yes and no. Pick one of these things. Now go out and do one. You just need momentum. You just need to prove that little voice wrong once. And then you’ll wonder… what else was that little voice wrong about?
#7 The only thing we can control is ourselves. Become the master of yourself.
The only thing we can control is ourselves. Our thoughts, emotions and actions. Practice self reflection. Journal. Remember lesson #4. Then take those lessons and make the necessary changes. Thinking is not enough. Take action.
#8 Travel. Alone.
One of the best ways you can achieve all of this is through solo travel. Pack your bag, choose a start point, and go. And only look back to reflect and learn. That place you call “home”, it will always be there. It’s not going to change. And you can always go back. Or, you might just come to feel that home is not tied to a particular location. Home is you. Home is loving yourself unconditionally. Home is honouring yourself. Home is growth, the evolution of your own mind.
It’s nice to know you’ve got somewhere to go back to, somewhere with familiar people, places and things. But along the journey we evolve, and often times the familiar doesn’t feel so familiar anymore. It’s not them, it’s us. And that’s why we need to find a home within ourselves. A place we can always come back to, with unconditional love and openness, where we have the freedom to explore, make “mistakes” and grow. A place that might change, but always feels good, even when it feels bad. Because we know ourselves well enough to understand everything is always exactly as it’s supposed to be, if we choose to believe so. We may not have all the answers but we know we’ll figure things out. Because we’ve done it, and we can do it again.
