Moomin Mama
Sep 7, 2018 · 1 min read

I constantly watch videos and read articles that state I need to address the inner child/childhood trauma etc that lead me to a relationship with a narcissist, and I’m always left floundering because my childhood was fine, I cannot relate to that premise at all.

I have never felt beautiful or sexy in my life, I’d been told endlessly that I was cute. He was the first man to shower me with compliments, constantly telling me how beautiful and sexy I was. I lapped it up. He saw my vulnerability and used it.

There was also definitely a huge element of slow cooker conditioning going on by him and he also very cleverly and subtly eroded my boundaries. I did feel a great deal of unease about him right from the very start, that feeling in the pit of your stomach, knowing something is off but being unable to put your finger on it. Interestingly, after spending time with him, just for a coffee or for a weekend, instead of driving away feeling all loved up and in a warm fuzzy haze of love, even if I’d enjoyed my time with him, when I drove away I felt a strange mixture or numbness, confusion and anxiety. It was extremely unsettling and I can’t for the life of me understand why I continued with the relationship when it felt so odd.