10 TIPS FOR TROLLING YOUR TRUMP SUPPORTING RELATIVES THIS THANKSGIVING -2019 Edition

This is my third year writing this list so, if you’d like to follow along in our progressively terrible timeline, here are links for 2018 and 2017 .
Look, anyone STILL supporting Trump at this point is not a person that is healthy to be around. They may say they don’t agree with Trump on all his stances, but continuing support of a person who displays racist, sexist, and abhorrent behavior is condoning it. So, I hope you aren’t spending time with these people, but I understand that sometimes you end up in group gatherings where you were not in charge of the invite list and thus Raging Racist Uncle Build-A-Wall shows up in his MAGA hat. Here are some fun ways you can make his Thanksgiving uncomfortable while delighting yourself.
Per usual, I am going to start with a disclaimer: Prioritize self care. If you need to get up and walk away. Please do. Always. Nothing is worth abuse. You do not owe anyone compromising your morals or dignity just to make them comfortable. So if you need to leave, do it.
If you don’t feel comfortable giving the real reason: OH MY GOD, your friend Amanda just called and she has a HUGE emergency. You have my house keys in your jacket… how could you forget?! Please drive them to me ASAP, I’m outside and it is FREEZING here in SoCal….
1. DONATE TO NATIVE AMERICAN CHARITIES
Such as https://www.narf.org
This has been, and always will be, my number one. And we should be doing this year round… The Keystone Pipeline is literally dumping oil RIGHT NOW. Thanksgiving is a celebration that glosses over the genocide of a people WE STILL MISTREAT TO THIS DAY. Yes, I know it is nice to spend a day with family and expressing gratitude, but please, please understand this “holiday” cost lives.
Make a donation in your own name, and THEN (if you can afford to do so) make a donation in the names of every guest you have at the table. Give them a print out.
This one is especially great because you can do this even if you are skipping out on the family gathering.
2. LOAD UP THAT GRATITUDE LIST
First, you need to go long and hard about how grateful you are that you didn’t get ripped away from the young children in your life brutally at the border by white supremacists. This is another great opportunity to donate to an org like Immigrant Families Together and/or RAICES in order to help children who are still being held and separated. These kids should be with their families. So make your donations and explain how you will be taking a collection on their behalf and you know Auntie Pearl Clutch is pro-life when it comes to small children, so you expect a HUGE donation from her.
Then move on to your gratitude for every single democratic presidential candidate, Adam Schiff, Impeachment proceedings, and finally by expressing your thankfulness that you are a not a *human woman who willingly got engaged to Stephen Miller while working for Mike Pence…. Because effing wow, it’s time to count your blessings!
*alleged
3. YOUR THANKSGIVING WARDROBE
Obviously, it’s time to rock a Washington Nationals T-shirt and hat. Tell everyone you only watch baseball for the “Boos.” (Bonus if you can work UFC gear into your outfit, too)
4. THE BOOs
Speaking of which, set up the bar with a photos of booing National fans… give ’em a cute little word bubble that says “BOOs” to label where the hard liquor you’ll be gulping down in order to stay in the same room with MAGAts is located. Then come up with a few cocktails: The Fancy Nancy (Pelsoi), “I have a Gin for that” martini, “That Red Wine Swirl was me”, THE AOC — Amaretto Orange cocktail, And of course, the ever classic “Im-Peach-Mint” cocktail: a Peach Bellini with a sprig of mint.
5. QUID PRO QUO
Refuse to serve anyone turkey until they give you a “quid pro quo” from their own plate. Tell them you’re celebrating Thanksgiving Ukrainian style.
6. THE PLAYLIST
Okay, this one is not for the faint of heart: play NICKLEBACK. The only band to get a TRUMP TWEET deleted. Patriots.
7. THE CENTERPIECE
Create a beautiful cornucopia. Place a copy of Gutsy Women in the center.
8. THE PLACEMATS
Laminate this photo:

9. The FOOD
Make an incredible dish. Wrap your turkey in bacon… infuse your butter with sage… and then serve any Trump supporters present fast food. Tell ’em it was good enough for the Clemson Tigers.

10. Stay home and spend time with people who are actually pleasant and decent.
If you need help sending any Trump supporters a message about why you can not associate with them any longer please feel free to use THIS.
