Going through life with an elastic heart

I was never diagnosed with elastic heart syndrome, but I can officially confirm that I suffer from it. This defect makes my heart capable of expanding to add more love and people, breaking when they leave and growing again after a little while. Repeatedly. It’s a chronic condition.

I don’t always complain about this. It’s a good gift to be able to love to my fullest capacity a bunch of times. I can throw myself at new relationships and friendships just like I jump out of airplanes. I go over the airplane’s door, look down at the earth, make sure there’s nothing right under me and dive. And diving with no worries — both in the sky and in relationships — is an amazing gift, most of the time.

But there are times when it all hurts, and this feels like a disease. These are the times in which every feeling I have is broken down and spread out on the ground. Sometimes, opening my heart so big doesn’t make sense, loving so much falls short and I don’t seem to be enough.

I wish I could say this is the last time my heart will grow big and be broken, but I know better. I know that I’d rather love with all my heart than not to have feelings at all.

I guess I just want explain how this works to people who are closed off. I expand and break, and I suffer through it. It’s totally worth it, but there’s a price to pay.

Please, be worth the price I’m paying to love you with all my heart.