The White Swan

So I’m up late 
insomnia as usual
thinking about
that movie Black Swan
and when I’m in character
and by in character
I mean drugged up sex
addict motherfucker
my (not real) mother
is always thinking 
incestuous thoughts.
(And she can think that
because she’s a
character in my 
head and because it’s
in my head it doesn’t
mean a goddamn thing
about my personal life)
She’s always undressing
me and inspecting all
the small scars on my
back and it’s uncomfortable
as sin, you know? 
And I’m always thinking
about that movie Black 
Swan with the incestuous
mother who’s always
looking at Nina’s scars.
I don’t have the time
to spell out who Nina is
because I’m the white
fucking swan in that movie,
okay? I’m trying to impress
other people and doing
sex and drugs writing to
impress you. Hell, I even
curse so that you’ll 
make out with me later.
And it’s all a goddamn
act and truth be told,
I don’t even sleep around
that much. Only with 
my husband and he and I
are monogamous as fuck.
We don’t even look at
other people and God 
loves us and everyone
loves us because we’re
nothing like the black
swan in that movie so 
just leave it alone.
I’m the virginal goody
two shoes in that movie
and there it is. I hate
myself for saying but
I’m a fake and a fraud
and all of those things
and I even listen to 
classical music like
Nina does during those
scenes where the men
on the bus are all
eyeballing her.I’m nothing 
like the black swan because
I’m the white motherfucking
swan. I’m the white swan
and I never ever was 
anything except the white
swan. There it is. I said it.

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