A ‘Joy Hangover’ led me to realize how hard I’m working to stay stuck.

Image for post
Image for post
Photo by Johnson Wang on Unsplash

It’s an unpopular concept; the idea that depression is something you could work really hard to stay stuck in — especially with it being such a widespread problem — But for me, I kind of do, so, hear me out.

I’m in the baby stages of launching my new business, why would depression come knocking?

They’re uncomfortable comfort for me; a place I’m familiar with; a place where, formerly, I’d be classed as socially acceptable and not a nuisance.

For a very long time, I was punished, criticized, and advised to lower my standards by people I loved. To be proud of me, be excited about my achievements, or share things I learned would mean quite often I’d be called out for being an egotistical asshole; other times, occasionally, I would be ‘put in my place’. …

You could save yourself money and time

Image for post
Image for post
Photo by Joshua Ness on Unsplash

Wouldn’t it be lovely if we could just buy a simple formula and magically all of our woes would disappear? Wouldn’t it just.

With the digital marketplace in full swing thanks to the current pandemic, the webspace is packed to the brim with Coaches and Programs offering us the solutions to every problem we could dare to imagine up. There are some brilliant super-knowledgeable ones; for every one of those, there are many more sketchy ones — the sketchy one’s generally got by on being gifted Copywriters or Salespeople, with their gift of the gab.

The sad thing about that is — It’s really easy to then cut yourself off from the possibility of hooking up with a coach that could really help you to change your life/business/fitness. Kind of like that visceral feeling of heartbreak; after the one relationship that left you believing that if being in love came at the cost of that much pain — it just doesn’t seem worth it. …

What if you could write what you really wanted to say on your Tinder profile?

Image for post
Image for post
Photo by Belinda Fewings on Unsplash

Online dating is one hundred percent what you make of it. You find what you’re looking for, so if you’re convinced that you’re digging through yesterday’s trash that’s what you’re going to pick up on.

Now now, I’m not saying people are trash; I am, however, noticing that there’s a lot of patterns that regurgitate themselves on the platforms that make my toes curl; not in a good way.

As a recovering codependent I’ve dated some of the worst offenders for narcissistic-bordering-sociopathic behavior because it reminded me of home. I was also taught to perpetually lower my standard and boundaries. …

My single pregnancy came as a plot twist in an already mad story, what would this mean for my future?

Image for post
Image for post
Picture by Author Amanda Jayne O’Hare

I’m not entirely sure how to open here… I’ve long promised a blog detailing my single pregnancy journey to end up being too busy; though it has to be said I do enjoy writing and blogging. However, it’s been easy to push aside; feeling a bit of a task when so much else has been going on.

Like when you fall unexpectedly pregnant for instance, maybe.

I guess I’ll start by letting you know who I am; my life journey so to speak; to set the scene. Then everything else will make sense.

My journey in my single pregnancy, how I cope as a new parent; a single one at that. I’m hoping that doing this it’ll allow me to talk about and process what’s been going on; but also to help any other new single mums or mums-to-be, that feel they might want something to relate to. …

I was looking for a new chicken recipe and this happened as a happy accident… The lockdown has it’s perks!

Image for post
Image for post
Photo Credit Amanda Jayne O’Hare

I found myself pretty bored of eating the same things pretty quickly into the lockdown… Anyone else?… I thought so… Not going out for dinner with friends saves plenty of money, without fresh ideas, food can get a little dull in the doldrums. I set out to experiment and came up with this yummy hot, sweet & smoky chicken recipe and wanted to share it with you.

This Hot, Sweet, Smoky Chicken Recipe Serves 2–3

400g evenly chopped chicken Generous

1tbsp Hot smoked paprika

Generous 1tsp Cinnamon

1 tsp Garlic powder

A sexy 1tbsp Parsley

1tbsp Coconut sugar

2tbsp Light Soy sauce

The Main Event

Preheat the non-stick pan on a high…

It came to me when I let go…

Image for post
Image for post
Photo by Annie Spratt on Unsplash

Like all writing, when it’s forced it just doesn't feel right; it doesn’t read right, and certainly couldn’t be spoken through a thick fog of grief in front of a crowd. I was determined to do my mum’s eulogy after all the many hours I’d spend phoning her up, multiple times a day when I lived in London and she was back home in Aberdeen.

The apparent strong, independent one; I clung to my mum from a safe distance while she lost herself in addiction. I couldn’t bear to watch her drowning. …

Picking Up Self Love, and Leaving Self Judgement at the Door

Image for post
Image for post
Photo by Tengyart on Unsplash

C-PTSD has been a big part of my life, along with it the unwelcome visitor — worry. I’ve spent a lot of time worrying instead of living. When I was travelling with my little girl in January and COVID19 hit the news, I knew I’d have to go warrior versus worrier to finish our travels. I’m trying to learn how to apply this more often.

A lot of my healing has come through self-learning and experimentations with therapy methods in between waiting times to get therapists.

Not something I’d suggest you do unless you have the right support; I’m very fortunate to be friends with some very talented and knowledgeable therapists. I also came to gain a chosen family in replacing the family who abandoned me in the throes of postpartum depression as a newly single-mum-from-pregnancy; the support I absolutely needed as I explored my demons. …

The lockdown must be going to my head

Image for post
Image for post
Photo by Becca Tapert on Unsplash

Lockdown activities left me swiping on Tinder, stumbling across a fake profile, using pictures of a guy I once knew from my competing days in bikini figure competitions… he didn’t do bikini, just in case you wondered.

I properly fancied this guy; but when I actually met him, I found out that I didn’t really. Not that he wasn’t attractive, there just wasn’t that spark.

Whoah Amanda, blow us away with an amazing story… Sorry.

Anyway, it doesn't matter, this story isn’t about him anyway. I couldn’t find our messages, but in scrolling through my Instagram DMs, what I did find was the messages between myself and my little girl’s dad that preceded the night I became pregnant.

Image for post
Image for post
Photo by bady qb on Unsplash

Traveling solo with a toddler for the first time can be quite nerve-wracking, but it needn’t be.

When I started planning my first long haul trip with Ruby for just before she turned two I googled hard to see what was the done thing for traveling solo with a toddler. I’ve popped a few affiliate links in the post.

I had to dig deep to find tips and tricks on booking Airbnb’s but managed to find tips as we went along that made our trip a safe and comfortable one.

I booked Airbnb for our stays in London, Sanur, Denpasar, Ubud, and Canggu in Bali, Sydney, and Luton. So, just a few.

I’m going to share with you some of the main points to consider when booking with Airbnb as you travel solo with your toddler to keep you safe and happy. …

It’s never been easier to achieve starting your own podcast.

Image for post
Image for post
Photo by israel palacio on Unsplash

With so many platforms and companies making it accessible and user friendly, you don’t need to be technically minded to share your ideas and passions.

There’s no limit to what you do your podcast on either. If you’re interested in something enough that you’d like to broadcast it to the world, you can guarantee there is someone out there in the world who is your ideal listener; you may even end up building your community on interest in cat wine.

I decided to pop together a short blog on how to get started with your own podcast after a few friends and colleagues asked how I was doing it. …


Amanda Jayne O'Hare

Solo mum from pregnancy; Personal Trainer of over a decade; C-PTSD warrior and Podcaster who loves to write out loud… www.strongmamamoves.com

Get the Medium app

A button that says 'Download on the App Store', and if clicked it will lead you to the iOS App store
A button that says 'Get it on, Google Play', and if clicked it will lead you to the Google Play store