…But it was so Good

The Chili’s Experience

By: Amanda Maner

Photo by: Amanda Maner

1890 calories (not including the 4 ranch dressings that were at my table, equivalent to 640 calories). That’s what I ate tonight…. In one meal.

Big Mouth Bites…
Honey Chipotle Chicken Crispers…
Southwestern Eggrolls…
Ranch dressing…
2,530 calories.
More than your daily amount, all in one meal. Sitting right in front of me. Staring me straight in the face. Challenging me to dig-in in a most ‘unladylike’ manner.

Was it worth it?

It’s 10 p.m. when my boyfriend and I wander into this southwestern bar and grill franchise. It was after a long day that was too busy to sit down and eat a real meal, so we came with a large appetite. Thank goodness they are open until eleven o’clock.

We sat in the bar area with a waiter who was trying hard to be enthusiastic, while clearly sporting a mix of dark circles and under-eye bags. He had already cleared the table for the night. Whoops.

After America’s most common couple conundrum of “what are you going to eat because I will secretly want to steal half of it,” I finally settled on the signature Chili’s Triple Dipper.

The Chili’s Triple Dipper is a menu item that allows you to pick three items from a set list of appetizers or a sample of an entrée (like the chicken Crispers or Big Mouth Bites).

Why stay fit and feel clean when you can aggravate your whole body for the next 24 hours?

It finally came out with the mouthwatering aroma of my future heart attack. And when it did, so did three ranch dipping sauces along with one of two of the ranch dressing sides that came with my boyfriend’s side salad.

Why the need for excessive servings of ranch dressing, Chili’s? To distract me from the fact I was ingesting 2,530 calories at a time? Well, fine… I guess I’ll accept your 4 creamy homemade dressings.

Note to self: potential for addiction; save number for Addiction Network.

Chili’s ranch dressing is nothing like the store bought hidden value or the budget-friendly Great Value brand. While store bought dressing has a bit of a tartness to it due to the vinegar and other preservatives that somehow keep dairy fresh for months, Chili’s’ claimed homemade dressing has the creaminess and milk taste that you would expect to pair well with a crudité. But because it is paired with a pile of different savory greases, the tastes clash a little.

Was it worth it?

As I finally gave in to the platter in front of me, I immediately felt regret. I knew what I had done and, at the same time, I loved every bit of it. The flavors were so rich, savory and prominent. And the flavors lingered for a long period of time. This added to the crave-worthiness of Chili’s in the future. Though after I was done, I was so full that I had this uncomfortable gurgle in the pit of my stomach from the sludge/coating called frying oil that slid through my body — but it was so good.

Shortly after leaving, it left me with a slightly less nauseated feeling, and more of a satisfying full feeling, that somehow made me crave more. Until next time Chili’s.

It was worth it.