How to Pet a Bison at Yellowstone
There seem to be a lot of stories this year about tourists attempting to interact with bison at Yellowstone National Park. And not everyone is going about this correctly, so as someone who has never been to Yellowstone, nor interacted with bison, I felt qualified — nay, compelled — to write this article.
First off, it’s obvious why you’d want to try to cuddle with these creatures, right? I mean, sure it’s a 2,000 pound, 6' tall wild animal, but it looks so fluffy!
And besides, a really good selfie is surely worth dying for. What’s a little goring here and there?
Are there signs up everywhere warning you to keep your distance?
Yes, but surely those are just mere guidelines.
And remember that guy who picked up a baby bison, which later had to be euthanized because of his actions? Oopsie-daisy!
So if you’re headed to Yellowstone and excited about the bison you might encounter, here’s a handy guide on how to go about making friends with the animals.
If you want to pet a bison: Just. Don’t.
If you want a selfie with a bison: Walk. Away.
If you see an animal that appears in distress: Perhaps consider contacting a park ranger or someone else who knows what the f*ck they’re doing, instead of trying to load the aforementioned animal into the back of your Subaru.
If you want to challenge a bison to a duel… Well, I’m sorry, but you deserve whatever’s coming your way.
This same guide can be applied to any other wild animal you encounter, so keep it handy during the length of your visit.
Want more helpful tips? Check out last week’s post on How to Prepare for a Disastrous Public Appearance.
