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I Don’t Care About an Emotional Affair

“I would seriously not care,” Bex said, as he packed his lunch for work.

I rolled my eyes, as I refilled my coffee, “Are you seriously trying to tell me that if I, fell emotionally in love with a male colleague at work, and told him all of my deepest desires, even lusted for him, but as long as nothing physical happened, you would not care? Are you fucking serious?!”

Bex smiled, kissed me on the cheek and said, “Honestly, it would probably be awesome! Here is this lad, doing all the heavy lifting for me? I love it, and no, as long as there was nothing physical, I would not care at all.”

I heard the front door close and the lock click into place. This conversation fascinated me, does Bex not understand what an emotional affair is or is he being serious?

I sometimes think that straight men, with their massive egos and fear of appearing too emotional sometimes say things, which they do not entirely mean.

Personally, I would be devastated if my partner was having an emotional affair, beyond devastated! I think I would prefer a physical affair to an emotional one.

I reintroduced the conversation, again and again, providing more definitions and explanations of what an emotional affair is, to see if I could sway him.

As I munched on some fries, I read to him from my phone, “Emotional affair: Even though you’re not sleeping with him or her, there’s flirting and definitely something going on….You’re reaching out to this person because you really need to feel connected.

I looked at him, waiting for a reaction, as he dove into his burger, “Come on man,” I said, a bit exasperated, “that has got to be triggering in some way.” I do not know why this whole situation bothered me so much and him so little…I did not know which was worse, my reaction or his.

“Nope,” Bex said, between bites, “All I hear is that you are doing all the talking, talking with this idiot and not crossing any physical lines. I use my imagination all the time and there is no harm, if no actual physical lines get crossed.”

Wow, is my partner some enlightened, evolved person, not threatened by emotional connection, or some lazy, overly confident guy who likes this idea of someone else dealing with all the ‘crazy’ conversations of his female partner for him?

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