When Life Gets in the Way of Living

Aman

“I will go on that well-deserved trip next year, this year I simply cannot afford to be out of the office for that long right now.”

“I will start dating soon, I just need to organize my life before even considering introducing a stranger into it.”

“I will make my health a priority, once I eat all the snacks in my house, no need to waste them all.”

“I will join a gym, once my life is not just so damn busy! I simply do not have the time to exercise right now.”

“I will find a better job later, I cannot imagine being the newbie right now.”

“I will leave him, I just do not think it is the right time, his mother is sick.”

“Stress is nothing but the fear of change.”

― Debasish Mridha

There is always a better reason to remain in your rut than a reason to reach for your potential in life.

It is scary to go out there and try.

It is exhausting to acknowledge that there is room to improve and then to have to try and make said change.

It is lonely to change and you may lose people along the way…you may lose yourself along the way.

It is easy to stay in the shit you know because at the very least, it is the shit you know, so you know you can handle it. The shit on the other side? Who knows what lies ahead….

We give into life what we truly want out of life.

If you want to be in good health and fit, so that your health or body is never fighting you, you will make it a (daily) priority.

If you want to be in a strong, healthy, long term relationship, you will make finding a strong, healthy, long term relationship one of your main priorities.

If you want a job where you are respected, trusted and feel valued, you will risk leaving your current job for a new opportunity, which shows the potential of providing said things.

If all you ever do is the same thing you have always been doing, you are getting exactly what you deserve, my friend, you are getting exactly what you are giving.

“Comfort and the fear of change are the greatest enemies of success.”

― Jeanette Coron

I no longer have room in my life for people who are not willing to change but continually want an audience to lament to about their life.

It is a boundary I realized I needed to put up in my own life because the simple fact of listening to people like this was exhausting. Now, I refrain from spending time with people like this and if for some odd reason I have to, I never give advice, consolation or empathy. I simply listen, acknowledge that I heard them and move on to a new topic of conversation.

Think about a rut you have been circling for far too long. Why can you not get out of said rut? Why do you not want to get out of said rut (consciously or subconsciously)?

Are you afraid of what will happen if you change this part of yourself?

Are you worried about losing people through self-growth?

Are you holding on to a negative person or practice out of sheer habit or boredom, thinking you cannot imagine your life without them?

Are you scared of what you might find out about yourself if you challenge yourself in this way?

When I reflect back on the ruts I have been in, thus far, there is one constant they all share: fear.

I was afraid to change because I was scared to lose something, someone or somewhere.

I was afraid of what I would become without whatever I was holding onto. I was always holding onto said person, place or thing far too much, in an emotional dependent unhealthy way and it was always hard to let go of them, but always worth it in the long run.

“For change to occur in us, we must be willing to enter the wilderness of the unknown and to wander in unfamiliar territory, directionless and often in the darkness….We do not need to keep every little thing under control. In fact, we find ourselves only by allowing some falling apart to happen.”

― Maureen Brady

One of the scariest things about changing your life and getting out of a rut is that it allows you the mental space to assess other areas of your life, in need of improvement and this can be extremely scary.

Imagine if you did not have that shitty job sucking all of the energy out of your life, but rather a job which you looked forward to going to and one where you felt valued and respected. Perhaps if you had that stress removed, you would start to realize the way you are being treated by your partner is no longer acceptable to you and the idea of that is scary.

Sometimes we hold onto pain to protect ourselves from growing away from the people, places and things we think are the epitome of our lives, never realizing that they were actually our shackles.

Aman

Written by

Aman

I write about issues that are near and dear to my heart, with the hope that my stories, experiences, and struggles may empower others: amanlitt.ca

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