I have gone through my twenties and am midway through my thirties.
I did not have a big bash when I turned twenty-one or twenty-anything for that matter.
Nor did I have a meltdown when I was unmarried and childless at age thirty.
Getting older has never been a point of contention for me. Getting older has barely even ever received even more than a nod of acknowledgement from me.
Oh, thirty-four you are leaving? Well, so long, we had a decent run, see you never and welcome thirty-five.
Grey hairs have not (yet) sent me running to the salon with a wad of cash clutched in my sweaty palms, begging a stylist to rid me of this telltale sign of getting older.
Wrinkles have not made me succumb to paying exorbitant amounts of money for tiny little bottles of lotion, which promise to have the elixir of life nestled within them.
A slightly lower hanging bosom has not made be book an appointment with the local plastic surgeon for a good old nip and tuck.
I am who I am. I am thirty-five and I look thirty-five.
Am I judging people who modify their appearance to appear or feel like they appear younger?
No, absolutely not. If it makes you feel good, good on you for doing it.
I am not even saying that the items mentioned above are not part of my future decisions. Maybe I will undergo surgery, perhaps I shall dye my hair at some point and I could even fall in love with spending loads of cash on my creams which promise to tighten and tone.
But for now, I am okay.
I am not angry with my age.
I am not trying to fight and kill her in hopes of reviving my twenty-five-year-old self. I have already experienced twenty-five, but I have never experienced thirty-five and I am very much looking forward to seeing what she has to offer.
I hope I may be a bit wiser, which would be useful.
I hope I may be a bit more careful, which would helpful.
I hope I may be a bit more patient, which would allow me to be more present.
I hope I may be more forgiving, to others and myself, because I have yet to meet a perfect person, and so I am tired of carrying around that expectation of myself.
I hope I may be a bit more silent, which would allow me to learn oh so much more from those around me.
I do not have high hopes for a miracle. I know what I look like and I am comfortable with the cards I was dealt. I am educated enough on health, nutrition and exercise to know what works best for my body for it to be at its most optimal.
There are still things on my list I would like to accomplish or push my body to do:
I would like to run another half-marathon.
I would like to attain my yoga teacher training certificate.
I would like to cut my hair really short.
I would like to actually get into strength training, instead of just thinking about it.
As for changes to my look?
Not so much and this brings me peace. I am at peace with how I look and I am grateful for it. Some people, especially women, never attain peace with their age or their looks and that is a lifelong battle that I am very grateful to not be sparing with (right now).
I am not trying to be the best-looking person in the room.
I am trying to be the most improved person in the room.
I am trying to be the most self-assured person in the room.
I am trying to be the most at peace with themselves person in the room.
I do not get angry with age because the older I get the less of shit I (am trying to) give about the things, people and events which do not matter and focus far more attention on the things which do.
The people who matter are few, a handful or less.
The events which matter are mostly the simple shared experiences at home.
The things which matter are almost sparse, things are things, nice to haves, but not worthy of debt.
I have learned that you can spend a whole lifetime trying to be the richest, sexiest, smartest, funniest, loudest person in every room you ever enter, while also being the most hollow person on the inside.
I have learned that silence is better than shouting.
I have learned that having the last word is utter bullshit and I need to quit trying to claim them.
I have learned that a loving partner, a comfortable clean home, engaging job, good friends, and tasty food are the true joys in life. It is in these small, daily, insignificant to others moments, not in loud, gregarious, showy ones where your memories are made and where I hope to spend most of my time ageing gracefully.