I wanted to publish this during the Kavanaugh hearing but I was not ready.

Ambar Januel
2 min readDec 15, 2018

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Last night this changed, because we are not done with facing men that take advantage of us, and choose to use power instead of care when they feel insecure.

With love for all women after the Brett Kavanaugh hearing, especially because I realize that I am still not quite brave enough to speak as publicly as I wish I could.

To them but not for them.

To the first man I ever felt that took that moment without my consent.

To the man that moved my sister away when I was 5 cause our community didn’t like that she is BROWN and accused a man that is WHITE.

To the men that told me that what is wrong is right.

To the officers that asked us if it was worth our suffering to take away their futures.

To my father that called me disgusting and told me to lie about what happened.

To the men that put us through this and then call us damaged.

To the school principal that threatened our enrollment if we told the truth.

To the man that forcibly came inside me and then told me I wasn’t ready to be a mother.

To the man that covered my mouth when I asked him to stop.

To the man that got so rough I was scared to ask him to stop.

To the man that took me in when I had nowhere to go and took it like he owned me.

To the man that said he loved me so much he didn’t believe I didn’t want it and he just had to show me.

To the men that think that when we are not interested it becomes okay to disrespect us.

To the man that I still haven’t spoken to my little sister about because I’m so fucking scared by how much it’s impacted her mental health.

To the man that made my mother distrust all men.

To the men that read this with doubt.

This acknowledgment is the last bit of satisfaction you’ll get from me.

To the women that are impacted every single day by the decisions these men made in our lives. I see you. I have love for you. We are not surviving alone.

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Ambar Januel

Digital advocacy and marketing. Creative. Entrepreneur. Mexicana. Co-founder of NETA: www.netacollab.com