Is This Weaponized Incompetence, Or Is My Husband Just Human?

Don’t worry, fellow wives. I’m not about to try to discredit weaponized incompetence.

Weaponized incompetence is real. It is neglectful. I’d argue that it’s abusive.

Just so we’re clear on my stance before we begin.

Weaponized incompetence refers to the intentional use or manipulation of incompetence or lack of proficiency as a strategy to achieve specific goals. It is typically discussed regarding husbands toward their wives, but it should be noted that anyone of any gender can use weaponized incompetence as a manipulation tactic.

When we talk about weaponized incompetence from husbands, which is the focus of this blog, we typically discuss the way that some husbands feign ignorance, inadequacy, or inefficiency to avoid contributing their part in household duties.

To give an example, imagine a wife asks her husband to tidy up the kitchen while she gets the kids ready for bed. He agrees. But thirty minutes later, after the wife has finished the complicated and multistep process of the bedtime routine, she enters the kitchen to find it in a state of disarray. The dishes are loaded in the dishwasher, but they are covered in grime that even the best detergent couldn’t cut through. The pots and pans she used to cook dinner are stacked on the…