ARE YOU STRONG OR JUST AFRAID: STRONG, INDEPENDENT, SELF-SUFFICIENT WOMAN SYNDROME | JUST BE YOU
Strong, Independent, Self-Sufficient Woman
The strong, independent, self-sufficient woman.
It sounds nice, doesn’t it?
But is it really?
Who are we without this self-proclaimed and socially reinforced label (that we secretly crave, love, and hold onto)?
More importantly, at what point did we start telling ourselves that it’s something we needed to be to be enough?
And therefore, we created a self-fulfilling prophecy of needing to be strong while inversely craving to rest, relax, and be supported. Yet, we remain terrified of being seen as being weak.
I call this the Strong, Independent, Self-Sufficient Woman Syndrome.
Symptoms include saying yes when you already have a full plate.
Drinking coffee whenever signs of fatigue reduce our ability to juggle it all,
Always responding with, “I’m so busy, but everything is just great,” whenever someone asks how you are,
Not being able to say no to extra work,
Being lured into the trap of thinking that if you do more then you will feel better about yourself,
Cringing at the thought of asking people for help or saying you’re not actually “fine” (because that’s weak),
Turning to over-working, over or under-eating, wine, and coffee as a leaning post to buffer the deep seated feeling of not being good enough (and may have only just realised they do this), and
Referring to fear as “stress” or “anxiety” without realising it’s fear.
Have you ever stopped to consider the long-term consequences of living, breathing, and being nothing but this label? Such as locking ourselves into a certain role and limiting our potential and happiness by never allowing time to just be, to create, to enjoy what we’ve worked so hard for.
Here is the cracker.
Most strong, independent, self-sufficient woman don’t have a moment to consider any of the long-term consequences on a spiritual, emotional, physical, and mental level because they’re too busy being strong, independent, self-sufficient women.
In this video you will learn:
- The four walls that support the story of the strong, independent, self-sufficient woman that suffocate happiness.
- The consequences to look forward to if you keep on going
- A different way of “getting it all done” that supports your health and wellbeing instead of driving yourself into the ground
Get out of your head
The terms “slow down” or “rest” are somewhat laughable. And even though it’s what we would love, there is a voice in our head that says, “You have too much to do, and nobody can do the job as well” and/or, “Rest is boring,” and worst of all, “Slowing down is for people who just can’t hack it.”
Despite being a strong, independent, self-sufficient woman, we care way too much about what other people think, worry about letting people down, and not looking perfect while accomplishing it all.
Whenever exhaustion kicks in, the voice in our head says, “Suck it up.”
When the list of things to do grows instead of doing the sensible thing and asking for help, we continue to do it all ourselves.
When we already have a full plate, instead of saying no when we are asked to do something, we smile and say, “Of course.” And everyone knows that you will get it done, and you’ll get it done well.
We’re stuck in our heads, so far away from our hearts that even if we wanted to stop, we wouldn’t know what to do with ourselves if we weren’t busy or achieving big things, and that scares the shit out of us.
So, when are going to admit that it’s not truly who you are but who you have either had to be or become because it makes you (temporarily) feel in control?
You can relax, be still, and find peace in everything that you’ve worked so hard to achieve.
After watching, I would love to hear from you. Are you experiencing or have you ever experienced the Strong, Independent, Self-Sufficient Woman Syndrome?
What was your biggest takeaway from today?
And what action are you going to take as a result of watching this video?
P.S If this pulled some heartstrings and stirred your head, you may want to check out FLOW — A hybrid retreat and mastermind series for go-getters who want to get it all done without the burnout.
Originally published at www.amberhawken.com on October 26, 2017.