Musings of a Christian Hijabi

I am part Mexican, a bit Spanish from my dad and probably some kind of European mix from my mom. I live in the United States and am a practicing Christian. Growing up, and being educated in a Christian school has taught me the love of Jesus Christ and how similar the Bible, and my religion, is to other religions. It is fascinating to learn about other religions and how close they are to the one I practice. I take great interest in learning the differences and commonalities between the Abrahamic religions.

My favorite aspect about the country I live in is how racially and culturally diverse my friends are. We all come from different backgrounds with different colors of skin, traditions, and religions. America is truly a beautiful melting pot. These people come with different religions, most likely different traditions, and sometimes a language barrier. But working through those hardships, with help from American citizens like you and I, they made it! They were accepted and loved. They found work and made a home here in the United States. They are living the American dream.

Unfortunately living the American dream is becoming more and more difficult due to intensifying racism and the rapid rise of Islamophobia. Given the recent attacks in Paris and San Bernadino, it has been thrust back into the spotlight. I have been reading many articles of young American, non-Muslim women putting on hijab to experience a Muslim woman’s perspective for a day, week or a month. Almost immediately after the Paris attacks in November 2015, I decided that I would give it a go to get a better understanding of the Muslim community. First I wanted to ask a Muslim for advice on what I might experience while wearing hijab. His mother wears hijab, so he knows what it is like to receive stares, rude comments and even threats of violence. After plenty of conversation and him mentally preparing me for what I was going to experience I decided I would wear it in three aspects of my life: my work, my gym, and my everyday out-and-about, in the mall, at the grocery store life.

Let me preface by saying that my story and reflection are overwhelmingly positive due, in part, to living in a very progressive area of the US. I live in the Bay Area: tech capital of the world. We brought the world Apple, Google, Yelp, Netflix, and countless other notable businesses. I am absolutely in love with living in the Bay Area and I am so thankful to call it home. The biggest reason is not because we are the tech capital of the world, but because we are a thriving community that accepts and embraces all walks of life. We pride ourselves on being diverse.

At Work:

I work at a very, very well known coffee company — I am sure you have been there before. For the most part, my coworkers were curious yet respectful. They knew I did not wear hijab before, and that I am a Christian, so they were confused. Almost all of my coworkers have asked very politely, in some variation of the following: “What are you wearing?” “I noticed that’s new. Can you tell me about it?” “Just curious, why did you start wearing the scarf?” I explained my experiment and they were immediately very accepting. During the first few days, my coworkers would occasionally confuse me for a stranger. I have gotten a couple of very standoffish customers who refuse to talk to me or smile at me, but the overwhelming majority of our patrons have been nothing but supporting and loving. When I wear a new scarf they are very quick to notice and compliment.

At the gym:

I had to work up the most courage to wear it at the gym out of all the other places. I started going to a Gold’s Gym in my city in July. Since late July, I have been going five days a week, every week. If you know anything about Gold’s Gym, you know it is mostly bodybuilders and fitness competitors. I have made friends with the “regulars.”. We all follow each other on social media and know more or less what is going on in everyone’s lives. I was not even inside when I received the first comment. The comment was from a good friend who is a huge goofball, he said, in the parking lot while I was walking through the parking lot, “You Indian or something? What is that on your head? What’s with the costume?” He was completely joking and he only said it because he knows I do not wear the scarf regularly. But still, does he think this is a costume when Muslim women wear it? As soon as I walked in, I was sweating profusely and it was not because I was working out. I was nervous that my friends might turn their backs on me; for my friends who normally say hi to me, to ignore me. I was worried about not being accepted. I thought to myself and hoped I had never made anyone feel this way before, because it is not a good feeling. All my nerves and feeling sick went away when we walked in and saw a group of our friends working out together. They greeted my friend & I like normal, but did ask why I was wearing a “burka”. My friend and I giggled at the word because I was not wearing a burka. We explained that I was not wearing a burka and I told them about my experiment. They jokingly told me that if anyone was mean to me, to let them know.

One conversation that stands out more than the rest was a conversation with a man who told me that with or without my hijab on, I sparkle “more beautiful than a diamond.” Another conversation that stuck out to me was one that I barely got to participate in because of how the other two people went back and forth, spewing anti-Muslim rhetoric. The conversation took place between an older lady (who is/was a friend) and an older man. I had made eye contact with the lady and at first she half smiled and then immediately, she cocked her head back and turned it, as if she was confused. I smiled and embraced her like we always do, but I was greeted by a half hug and two steps back and, “Um, what are you wearing?” she questioned me. “A hijab!” followed with a big smile. “A what? Why are you wearing that?” still with a very puzzled and offended look. “It’s a social experiment.” I replied “Oh well, honey, you better be careful if you’re going to be wearing that around here. You wouldn’t want to get hurt.” At this point that sounds like a threat but I am confident that no one in my gym would hurt or attack me, and if someone tried there would be an overwhelming majority at my defense. The man jumps into the conversation. “Yeah you don’t want to be mixed up with those terrorists, they’re everywhere. Going around killing people.” The woman follows, “Yeah their book tells them to kill everyone, you don’t want to get mixed up with those people.” I try to get a few words in on their misconceptions, “You know it doesn’t say anywhere in the quran-” The woman cuts me off, “Oh honey yes it does. You better get your facts straight before you go around in that thing.” The woman walks away as did I because I was extremely uncomfortable.

This last interaction at the gym warmed my heart. I had said hi to a father & son early in my workout who we see regularly in the gym, almost on a daily basis. We chatted for a few minutes, catching up on life, and they said nothing about my hijab. I did not know if it was because it made them uncomfortable or they did not allow my clothes to determine how they felt about my personality. Either way, I wanted to know why. Later in that same workout we (friend and I) ended up using the machine next to the son & father. I asked the son, in front of the dad “Hey I noticed you didn’t say anything about the new thing I’m wearing.” The son replied, jokingly “Oh your new shoes? They look great!” we all laugh. He continues “What you wear doesn’t matter. We like you for you, not your clothes.” My heart was so full. I explained to them how happy that made me and how not everyone is accepting as them and that the world needs more people like them. They asked about how it was being received by people at work and how I tie it. They had a genuine interest in the experiment and wished me well. There were a group of girls pointing and laughing and comments here and there, but the majority of people were very sweet to me.

Everyday life:

Going out in public has always been a little nerve-wrecking since I started wearing hijab. I never know who is going to be there or what they will say. I went into many shops and talked with many employees. I was not greeted as quickly as before, or maybe I was noticing that more on that first day. Maybe it was a busy day for the mall. Once I started talking with employees, I felt that I was treated the same as before. I wear hijab pretty regularly and people treat me with the same service as before. Buying Hijab was a very fun experience aswell. There is a small shop in Santa Clara called Hayaa Clothing. It is run by a mother and her daughter. Each time I have been in there, they greet me with love and hugs and stories since I last saw them. They both are always eager to answer my questions and inform me about Islam.

This has, over time, evolved out of an experiment and into a statement. I am wearing it to protest racism and Islamophobia in my community. I am wearing it to start a conversation. I felt proud to wear it. A nice little side benefit was feeling protected from wandering eyes and stares of lust. It is extremely warm depending on what type of fabric you wear. It brings other’s eyes to your face instead of other parts of your body, thus allowing for better communication. It is a constant reminder to always act in accord with what is pleasing to God. You must not swear, act foolish, immodest, or otherwise be a jerk. Hijab has made me a better person and I am thankful for that. As the days went by, I forgot that I was even wearing it, until I noticed a stare. I would remember why and just smile back. It has been three weeks and I am still wearing it.