The matter of leagues is a prevalent theory of seperation he expounds to deflect his fears. I get it. I wish them the best. I just don’t want to hear one more thoughtless insensitive word from his lips. Under the rug I am swept and out the closed door all that belongs. It’s hard to sever it and he never knows how much it takes. Maybe this time he will just leave me to my peace and go live his happy life in paradise. One can always hope.

Meanwhile the silence is deafening from closer to home though I’ve heard every thought. I wonder if people ever know how much I do behind the scenes not for profit or personal direct gain. I’m wired to feel things most couldn’t handle. I dive into the darkness to bring parts to the light and every once in a great while I too dancein the sun liberated. Mostly though I work to tune the frequencies that run through, I know by now they will. Over time experience has taught me to let them through. It’s a challenging role to facilitate transformation but one I could never turn away from.

I do crave to be held by a man who understands that life is miraculous and all beings deserve compassion and care.

My theology too obscure and eclectic, perpetually a bit too expansive for any boxes people put it in. The edges are always growing and the learning is never done.

Hawaii don’t call me just send my ukulele and let me heal. I’ve given plenty over time and that is for real. It’s my turn now and that is final.