Jenny DeShields

I call it OKStupid … First of all, if you’re lonely, stay off the dating sites, they are not a cure, they are just part of the disease (mostly because of what you mention in the article, there really isn’t anyone that interesting). Second, if you’re there, commit to meeting people — I mean commit in your own head that you will meet (and probably hate every last second of it) at least XX people.

As a man, on the other side of the coin, there is nothing worse than having an endless “online” conversation — on their site, on your phone, via FB, where ever. If it’s virtual, it’s not real — and the longer you communicate in the unreal world, the higher your expectation is that “this one is special, unique and really gets me”. NO ONE will get you virtually (not 100%). And I hate to break it to all those people that believe “attraction” isn’t important or that being attracted to how someone “writes” or even “talks” is enough to create attraction in the real world. It’s not.

I have had the (dis)pleasure of meeting about 20 women through dating sites — and none of them were anything like I imagined them. Only one (yes, one) was really interesting, and I had an attraction to in the real world. Two others, were mildly interesting — but not worth the second date.

And one last thing … to the women out there … first meeting: make it extremely casual, coffee is best, but a single beer, glass of wine or favorite adult beverage also works — and go ahead, pay for your own drink (the guy will give you points for that fact). Go someplace where you can talk, walking is also a good thing (park anyone). This is a “meet-n-greet” to ensure all that fantasy you created in your head actually translate to real life. I’m sure many of the women I met, were not as impressed by me as I had hoped, it happens. How we type is often very different from how we act in public (even if we are on our best behavior).

On a side note … I’m off those sites. I personally would rather take the chance of you disliking me in person, than spending time to “get to know you” in the virtual world, meet, and find out there really isn’t anything there (the false sparks of a virtual world, can’t create a fire in the real world).

Cheers to all the brave people out there, trying to find their “love” through the binary world of I’s and O’s … just realize, it’s hard to turn those into X’s and O’s.

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