“Can You Fix Me?” I Get Asked This All the Time and This is What You Need to Know

Andrea M. Darcy
6 min readMay 24

As a mentor and writer of now over a thousand popular online articles about mental health and wellbeing, I constantly receive messages and emails that are a variation of the same question. That question being…

“Can you fix me?”

I have anxiety, how do I fix it and make it just go away? I lost someone and feel sad, how do I just stop it. I want to feel good and normal like everyone else, tell what I do? You are my last chance, there is something wrong with me, tell me how to just make it right!

photo by Mikhail Nilov for Pexels

I am deeply flattered that my work touches people to the extent they think I have a magical power and can instantly fix them. And trust me, I wish I did have that power. Not least as I would then be a billionaire. But also as the thing that keeps me going, that makes me feel most alive, is, indeed, helping others.

But I don’t have that power.

And the truth is that it wouldn’t actually do you or anyone else any good if I did.

But there is someone who can ‘fix’ you

You see here’s the thing. It’s not that I don’t have a lot of incredibly useful information to share that can help you fix yourself. But did you hear what I just said?

Fix yourself.

The only thing that actually has a lasting, solid effect on our lives is when we decide that we OURSELVES are going to take control of our life journey. Yes, we can have help, and it’s a good idea to do so. But we have to be in charge of our healing journey. Or it simply will not work.

That journey, the journey of figuring out who you are? Of what makes you behave the way you do, what holds you back, what hurts you? Of what’s really behind that hurt, what is really upsetting you, deep within, and how you can let go and move on? The journey of truly knowing who you are, truly being who you are, and then serving the world as what you?

That, dear friends, is the art of life. It’s why we are here at all.

We need to talk about that word ‘fixing’

Andrea M. Darcy

Mental health and wellbeing expert and author | over 150 number one articles on Google | Living in Paris | Instagram @amdarcy