How to Build Trust with Others

As product managers, leaders, and entrepreneurs, we are often working with or leading teams. In many cases, we are leading others without having formal authority. The ability to lead and influence others is based on a foundation of trust. Without trust, you’ll never be able to cooperate with or influence others. How can we build trust with others?

That is exactly the question that Stephen MR Covey tackles in his book The Speed of Trust. In this book, Covey provides a number of frameworks and best practices for building trust with others.

Why is trust important?

Everything we do, we do with others. We depend on the cooperation and collaboration of others in order to achieve our goals, in our personal and professional lives. We must often influence others to contribute their resources (time, effort, money) in order to get things done. All of this cooperation, collaboration, and influence is built on trust.

The speed and cost with which we can accomplish our goals with others depends on trust. As Covey points out, there is a strong relationship between trust on one hand, and speed and cost on the other.

“Trust always affects two outcomes — speed and cost. When trust goes down, speed will also go down and costs will go up.”

⬇️ Trust = ⬇️ Speed ⬆️ Cost

“When trust goes up, speed will also go up and costs will go down.”

⬆️ Trust = ⬆️ Speed ⬇️ Cost

This makes perfect sense to me. If there is low trust between two parties, there will be a lot more due diligence, skepticism, and caution between them. This will slow things down, and require both parties to invest more in addressing the questions and skepticism.

On the other hand, when trust is high between two parties, they can move synchronously as one. They are not constantly questioning and doubting each other; instead, each party assumes the other will meet its obligations and do a good job. This enables the two parties to move faster together at a lower cost.

The components of trust

According to Covey, trust is essentially credibility. People will trust you if they find you credible. To build credibility with others, you must develop the four cores of trust.

• Integrity
• Intent
• Capabilities
• Results

The first two cores of credibility, Integrity and Intent, have to do with character. The second two cores of credibility, Capabilities and Results, have to do with competence. All four cores are incredibly important to build trust.

Integrity (Core1): Walking the talk

The first core of credibility is Integrity. Here is what Covey wrote about Integrity:

“This is what most people think about when they think of trust. To many, ‘Integrity’ basically means ‘honesty.’ While integrity includes honesty, it’s much more. It’s integratedness. It’s walking your talk. It’s being congruent, inside and out. Is having the courage to act in accordance with your values and beliefs. Interestingly, most massive violations of trust are violations of integrity.”

Integrity is about congruence, humility, and courage.

Integrity is more than just being honest, it’s really about congruence: behaving in a way that is consistent with your inner thoughts and values. People of high integrity walk their talk. They act according to their principles, and are less likely to be driven by extrinsic forces such as “the opinions of others or the expediency of the moment.” Honest people make certain their words conform to reality; congruent people make certain their actions conform to their words and inner beliefs. Both honesty and congruence are critical to Integrity.

In addition to honesty and congruence, Integrity is also about humility. As Covey writes:

“A humble person is more concerned about what is right than about being right, about acting on good ideas than having the ideas, about embracing new truth than defending outdated position, about building the team than exalting self, about recognizing contribution than being recognized for making it.”

If you’re humble, you’re looking for the best answer rather than just doggedly sticking to your own position. You recognize that the best answer or idea can come from anywhere, and you’re quick to abandon your own inferior idea if you encounter a superior one from someone else. Humble people demonstrate the behavior of sharing credit generously with others, a best practice for earning the trust of your team.

Finally, Integrity is about courage. It’s about being the lone dissenting voice; about acting in accordance with your values even when the majority opinion is against you; about standing up for what you believe, and defending others who are not as strong. “Integrity also includes the courage to do the right thing — even when it’s hard.”

Covey offers these suggestions for increasing your integrity:

• Make and keep commitments to yourself and others.
• Stand for something. “Be value and principle based. Know what you stand for, and live by those standards.” — George Fischer, Chairman, Eastman Kodak
• Be open-minded. Listen to others, acknowledge your own fallibility and lack of perfect knowledge, and embrace new ideas and perspectives.

Intent (Core 2): Motives and agenda

Once you have a foundation of Integrity established with someone else, the next Core to work on is Intent.

Here is what Covey has to say about Intent:

“This has to do with our motives, our agenda, and our resulting behavior. Trust grows when our motives are straightforward and based on mutual benefit — in other words, when we genuinely care not only for ourselves, but also for the people with interact with, lead, or serve. When we suspect a hidden agenda from someone or we don’t believe they are acting in our best interests, we are suspicious about everything they say and do.”

If someone doesn’t trust your intent, they are always wary and will keep a watchful eye over you. They will question your behavior, and you may find yourself often explaining or justifying your actions.

“The moment there is a suspicion about a person’s motives, everything he does becomes tainted.” — Mahatma Gandhi

Unfortunately, you can’t completely control how other people judge your intent. Others will often perceive your behavior, and then assign their own judgment of your intent based on their paradigms, experiences or biases. Although you can’t completely control it, you can definitely influence how others judge your intent.

Covey provides these best practices for building trust with Intent.

• Genuinely care for others. “The motive that inspires the greatest trust is genuine caring — caring about people, caring about purposes, caring about the quality of what you do, caring about society as a whole.” This requires us to look at things from the other person’s perspective. We have to truly listen and understand others to know what they want. And we need to care about how the outcome of our interaction affects them in the near- and long-term.
• Seek mutual benefit. “The agenda that generally inspires the greatest trust is seeking mutual benefit — genuinely wanting what’s best for everyone involved.” We must push forward solutions that are mutually beneficial and not one-sided in our favor. When people feel like our agenda is to maximize our own benefit at the expense of theirs, we drastically lose trust. Also, be open with your agenda. People are wary or suspicious if they perceive you have a hidden agenda.
• Act in the best interest of others. “The behavior that best creates credibility and inspires trust is acting in the best interest of others.”
• Declare your intent. Rather than let others just form their own judgment of your intent, declare your intent explicitly. “Declaring and expressing your agenda and motives can be very powerful, particularly if your behavior is being misinterpreted or misconstrued by others. It’s also valuable as a means of establishing trust in new relationships.” Once you have declared your intent, it’s very important that you follow through on what you have stated as your intent.

Capabilities (Core 3): How we get things done

The first two Cores (Integrity and Intent) have to do with character. We will now move on to the first of two Cores that has to do with competence: Capabilities.

Here is what Covey wrote about capabilities:

“These are the abilities we have that inspire confidence — our talents, attitudes, skills, knowledge or style. They are the means we use to produce results. A family doctor might have good integrity and his motives might be good, but unless he’s trained and skilled to perform the task at hand (brain surgery, for example) he’ll be lacking in credibility in that area.”

Capable people are credible. We tend to trust people who have the right talents, attitudes, skills, and knowledge for the task at hand. This is why educational credentials, board certifications, and work experience matters for building trust. It’s also why being a lifelong student — continually developing yourself and actively increasing your knowledge and skills — is important for increasing your credibility.

Covey offers these best practices for increasing our capabilities:

• Play from your strengths. First, know your relative strengths and weaknesses. Then double down on your unique and valuable strengths, while partnering with others to complement your weaknesses.
• Actively shape your attitude. Examine your own attitudes, and work on improving those that fail to inspire trust. Attitudes that hurt trust include being pessimistic; transmitting stress and discouragement to others; avoiding responsibility or accountability; giving up easily; having a victim mentality; always looking for the next big thing (and not having your heart in what you’re currently doing); being quick to fault with others without acknowledging your own shortcomings; being passive aggressive; and having an “entitlement” mentality.
• Keep yourself relevant. Take on new challenges, and reflect on lessons learned. Soak up knowledge and best practices from others. Read widely. Take classes if needed. “I am always learning and working at the margin of my ignorance.” — Harvey Golub, former CEO American Express.

We need to be seen as capable in order to establish credibility and trust in our competence. Being capable means that we need to be self-aware and play from our strengths; we need to improve our own attitudes; and we continually invest in our own self-development, to acquire new skills and knowledge.

Results (Core 4): What we produce

The final Core for building credibility is Results. Here is what Covey has to say about Results:

“This refers to our track record, our performance, our getting the right things done. If we don’t accomplish what we are expected to do, it finishes our credibility. On the other hand, when we achieve the results we promised, we establish a positive reputation of performing, of being a producer… and our reputation precedes us.”

“Results matter! They matter to your credibility. They matter to your ability to establish and maintain trust with others. In the words of Jack Welch [former CEO of GE], having results is like having ‘performance chits’ on the table. They give you clout. They classify you as a producer, as a performer.”

Covey shares these best practices for improving your results.

• Take responsibility for results. Aim for driving results, not just engaging in activities. In sales, it’s the difference between setting goals on the number of sales calls only, vs. having your ultimate goal being the number of sales or amount of revenue. “Accomplishing results will build credibility and trust. But simply taking responsibility for results will also build credibility and trust — sometimes even if the results were not good… and sometimes when they were not even your fault.”
• Expect to win. “We tend to get what we expect — both from ourselves and from others. When we expect more, we tend to get more; when we expect less, we tend to get less… Having a mindset of expecting to win increases our odds of winning.” Why? Because if we expect to win, we start a cycle of positive reinforcement. Our own credibility and self-confidence increases, which leads to others gaining confidence, and thus our team performance is better than it would be if we expected to lose. With the increased performance, we are more likely to win, which leads to more positive self-expectancy and then more winning. Aim high to achieve high. Hope for the best, but prepare for the worst. If you don’t believe you will win, nobody else will do it for you.
• Finish strong. Be persistent, bounce back from setbacks and failures, and continue pushing to the very end. Don’t let up on your efforts until you are actually done. “Results are all about finishing. You’re probably aware of the old adage, Beginners are many; finishers are few. Increasingly, it seems, we live in a society of victims and quitters… My motto is: Whenever possible, finish, and finish strong.”
• Communicate your results. It’s of no use if you are producing results, but nobody is aware or notices it. You have to balance communicating your results with the appearance of self-promotion. One thing that I’ve found works well is to communicate team results, attribute the success to the team effort, and publicly recognize people on your team for their achievements. This helps your organization see the results that your team is producing, but avoids looking like you are promoting yourself.

Everything we do, we do with others. Our ability to achieve our goals, therefore, requires us to partner with others. Trust is the foundation for us to be able to cooperate with and influence others.

We learned from Covey that trust matters because it affects speed and costs. When Trust is high, speed is high and costs are low. When Trust is low, speed is low and costs are high. We all want to be operating in a high-trust zone with our partners and teams, but how do we get there?

Covey provides us with the framework of the Four Cores of Credibility:

• Integrity
• Intent
• Capabilities
• Results

The first two Cores (Integrity and Intent) have to do with character; the second two Cores (capabilities and results) have to do with competence.

Integrity, as we discussed, is about honesty, congruence, humility and courage. The moment someone questions whether you are being honest or congruent, their trust in you nosedives. Ensure that you are always behaving congruently between your actions, your words, and your inner thoughts. Be humble and open-minded to the ideas and perspectives of others. Act with courage: stand up for your beliefs and do the right thing, even when it’s difficult.

Intent is about motives, agenda, and behavior. You have to genuinely care about others, seek mutually beneficial outcomes, and then act in the interests of others. It’s helpful for you to declare your intent, to signal your motivation and to be transparent about your agenda.

Capabilities are your talents, attitudes, skills and knowledge for the task at hand. To be viewed as capable, play from your strengths, improve your attitudes, and continually develop your skills and knowledge.

Finally, you must produce results. To do that well, take responsibility for results, expect to win, finish strong, and communicate your results.

By examining our relationships with others in this framework, we can identify focus areas to increase trust. We can also debug relationships where the trust is low. I have already started to put this framework and the best practices into play, and I’m already seeing positive results. For anyone that works in teams, and has to influence or lead others (which is basically everyone), this framework for building credibility and trust is highly effective.