Scattered thoughts of self-advice.

The mind meanders at its own leisure through all that is presented to it. Without our even being aware it ambles along paths of complex workings. On some level of cognizance we take in much more then we would ever conceive possible. And all stimuli which bombards has an effect. For better or worse. Fight it if you will to no avail. It’s what we do with these influences that matter, what we absorb and what we reject. Let your thoughts go and observe, where are they taking you to most often. Why are you fighting it? Who told you to? Do you think you can triumph over your own mind? Just go with it sometimes, it doesn’t always have to make sense. A lot of the time, it definitely won’t.

A general disclaimer for the illogical ramblings that will surely follow…

It is a perplexing enigma that raw emotion tends to create such vivid response from our minds. Yet it’s there in everyday life. Countless love songs, journals filled with elation and sorrow. Ancient poets filled seemingly endless scrolls with tales of both love & loss. Wonderful expressions of pain and elaborate phrases of joy. And yet now more often than not we recoil from modern tales of inner emotion. The heart-warming paradox of despondency bringing forth such beauty from the soul. Sadness and darkness of thought are not something to be hidden or condemned. Surely it is more harmful to the soul to keep these frustrations internalised. But that’s a bit gay isn’t it? This writing shit… A bit weird? Who would want to think out loud?

Such damaging stigma is now attached to sexuality in general, be it masculinity or feminism. Even homosexuals are not immune to stereotypical slander. Both men and women over-run by constant images of how they should look. Women afflicted by low self-esteem and eating disorders. Males suffer from Adonis complexes, hemmed in by steroid laden lumps of ignorance. Synthetic flawlessness continually portrayed as reality. All that we should or could be is presented for us wherever we may choose to look. It’s more then body image. It’s mindset, it’s relationships, it’s life goals, it’s the way we should think. It’s all there in some self-help book to enlighten your soul. Someone else’s opinion skilfully narrated to influence your own. But isn’t that all it can ever be, however well-educated it may appear. An opinion.

Don’t get me wrong, there’s nothing else I would rather study then self-improvement. However it’s also a field of literature inundated with poor advice, enormous ego’s and shithouse clichés. Let’s face it… You’re reading this. What makes my opinion worth contemplating?

Sometimes you need to close your eyes. Forget about the bullshit and just be you. When I look back at my life personally I want it to be filled with memories of people and places. Loved ones and experiences shared. Quality time spent with others and in solitude. Reflections of actions carried out with integrity and pride. Not a collection of meaningless outdated objects and echoes of a physique and attitude long ago lost. Health to me has an infinite meaning. It is not purely any one thing. It is a state of being. Independent of our physical appearance surely our internal and mental health is of more importance? Surely knowing ourselves is at least as important as knowing others.

Upholding my values in day to day life, controlling my emotional state, treating others with respect. Is this not a worthier pursuit then pretending to be a “fkn alpha”? Parading self and your pseudo confidence for fictional spectators. Self-confidence and self-belief that cannot be easily shaken is far more attractive than any physical attribute may be. Also not reliant on artificial supplements, unnatural movements or egocentric messages from media. And most importantly once cultivated not a passing phase nor dependent on narcissistic external motivation. It becomes you. Natural. And who gives a fuck if someone doesn’t like it. The whole living up to your potential movement is horseshit.

The craziest thing about potential is that it isn’t real. It can’t be. By definition it never exists. It’s a fictional working of the mind. It means nothing. It’s what other people, or yourself envision that you can or should be. It’s a wonderful concept but a lie nonetheless. You can never live up to it, it’s a metaphorical carrot on a stick. You should not aim for it, nor be limited by it. It isn’t real. Keep reminding yourself of this. Break the fucking stick and eat the carrot if you want it that badly. You can be whatever the fuck you want to be. This can change from one minute to the next and there is no right or wrong. And if someone tells you there is who are they to do so? Never just accept things. Ever. No matter what, question others, question yourself.

Never settle. Never ignore your instincts. Never stop learning. Never stop questioning.

You should definitely be the best version of yourself but call that whatever you want. Not ‘potential’, no one can see that, it’s not who you are it’s merely a story you tell yourself of who you want to be. Be that person now. It’s not wealth that makes you, nor your body or your belongings. It’s you, your mind, your thoughts, your outlook, your nature, your beliefs. You can be all of those things right now. Improve these and all other aspects will surely grow.

So don’t be brave, or bold, or eccentric, or eclectic or any other popular fabrication.

Just be, you. And if you are all of these things along the way, fucking own it. But don’t do it for someone else because it will never last, do it for you. Don’t aim for things or labels or to please anyone else.

Aim for you.

nate.