In your Relationship, Are you the Reacher or the Settler?
The CBS series How I Met Your Mother talked about this in an episode where the love interests Lily Audrey and Marshall Erickson were both put up for the Reacher and Settler debate.
Although, HIMYM made the ‘Settler’ a more attractive person to be, I’d give you reasons why I’d rather be a Reacher than a Settler.
· As a Settler, you get the feeling of adequacy that messes with the need to grow more. You see yourself as better and have no problem with marital/relationship downgrading: you feel like a catch, keeping in mind you’re better and your partner is someone you just had to agree to, either because of situational issues or the need to fill up the space.
· As a Settler, you’re likely to become a “know-it-all”. Suddenly, your partner becomes a major minority that you counter on every ground because you think you should be the one to be ‘heard’.
· If you feel you’re a Settler, you also feel there’s no need for improvement because no matter how bad you get, you’ll still be better — you’ll still be more appreciated.
Now, as a reacher, you’re none of the these things. Instead, you’re that hard worker dedicated to being better and that way, you’re not only improving for your partner (you are aware you got a good one, so, you’re a working progress) but also for yourself. You’re also self-conscious and always making room for improvement.
*Self improvement is the key to new discoveries.
Note: Lie as you may, argue as much as you want, but we all know in every relationship, there’s a Reacher and a Settler — a lover and an ‘almost’ lover, the one that’d do anything and the one that would stop to think before they do anything.