We Need More Gentlemen
Back in the 2000’s, gentlemen referred to men that were kind, patient, caring. They were an ideal to live up to and were easily recognized by what they wore and how they acted.
Over the years the culture has moved towards accepting men to become more promiscuous and adhering to a long-term bachelor lifestyle. Mainstream music portrays women as objects from what they wear to how they act. It’s common place to see models in videos erotically dancing set alongside lyrics describing how good and carefree life is. Now, everyone should express their opinion; however, this kind of glorification of a sex filled lifestyle has downsides.
It’s challenging today for single people to make a connection. Dating apps let you swipe to a new conversation if one or more don’t work out. This leads to less people committed to dating and marriage since the new goal is to “hook-up” with as many people as you can. Being a “player” can be fun while you’re young, but down the road can make drama for everyone involved. We need to bring back gentlemen to balance society out.
A gentleman would teach boys how to become men and teach men how to attract anyone they wanted.
A gentleman is:
- A protector
- Respectful to everyone
- Is helpful and expects nothing in return
He is more than those 3 points which we’ll expand on, but those are pretty big.
He protects those in need. From walking someone to their car, especially at night, to preventing any kind of attack as much as he can. If he sees someone entering a potentially dangerous situation, he’ll offer his assistance twice. If he can intervene, he will, or call appropriate authorities if possible.
He respects everyone he meets. He introduces himself with a firm handshake and looks into a new acquaints eyes when he greets them. He is happy to talk with anyone without judgement. He knows everyone he meets has something to teach him.
From opening doors and carrying baggage to being the designated driver, he makes sure to help if he can. He assists with a smile on his face and wants nothing in return.
Now some additions to the list.
He doesn’t use a cheesy pick up line while flirting. He gets to know a lady honestly before asking her on a date.
He knows when to continue a conversation and when to respectfully leave if a lady shows no interest.
On a first date, if he is the driver, he will walk up to the lady’s residence and greet her at the door. He should walk her the car and open her door. Presenting her with a flower is optional but a plus.
He should pay for the first meal. The conversation should be 60% getting to know her.
There is no expectation of getting physical the first night. It should only happen a month or more down the line with both the gentleman and lady agreeing. He is not player; he wants to build a good connection with everyone he meets.
He makes his intentions very clear and sticks to his word. If he promises to keep a secret or be on time, he means it (to him early is on time and one time is late). If he is comforting a friend, his goal is to be there for him/her and give advice if asked. He will not take advantage of a situation for his own gain.
He is honest about his opinion but takes care not to be harsh, he doesn’t want to start drama.
He dresses nicely and is well groomed. Inner and outer appearance is important.
He is confident when appropriate, but never brags.
Boys need to be taught how to be gentlemen again. The phrase “chivalry is dead” is becoming more popular since the culture has grown dismissive of men doing “manly” things.
It might be crazy to say in 2020 but “men and women are different”. They are biologically geared to want to do different things. Nothing wrong with that. Not all men and women want to live like the majority. That’s also OK. If a mom wants to work full time and a dad wants to take care of a home and the kids, let them.
At the same time, we need to promote the ideals of gentlemen again. We need more men to know common sense things like respect, responsibility, and knowing someone’s value.
