Rejection: Change How You Handle It
Ever since I started InAnyEvent London, every rejection feels even more personal than it did before.
Naturally of course, when you put so much of your life and soul into something, you want it and will it to succeed, so that’s normal right? Wrong!
Every rejection is another reminder that someone or something doesn’t “want” us. How we measure our value is based on how many times we are accepted or rejected — we aren’t worthy enough to have it, therefor we aren’t good enough for anything. The cycle continues until we start to believe it.
Take comfort in knowing that everyone has felt this way at some point in their careers and lives. It’s the only way we allow ourselves to self-reflect on what our purpose ought to be. If we received everything we ever wanted in life, chances are we’d never know the value of it.
Rejection is a part of humanity, and quite an important one at that. 99.9% of the time things aren’t going to work out according to plan — it’s how we handle it that makes us grow. Its time to look deeper at the word “no” and realise that when someone says it’s impossible, what he or she really mean is that it’s impossible for them.
Believing anyone, even your own mother, when they say you can’t do something is the epitome of naivety. Its like someone saying, “Here try this rat poison. It won’t kill you, I promise.” You’re taking their word as truth, when really the only voice you should ever believe is your own.
Everyone speaks from the realm of his or her own experience. We all are born in different environments — rich, poor, single parent etc and each leading to a unique path. Sometimes we’re lucky to be around a great group of friends, and in a good job, other times we are not.
The sooner you realise that your life depends on a series of random events, the easier it will be to let go of trying to control everything. It’s hard to hear the word “no” when we’ve spent countless hours daydreaming of “yes.” We pre-plan our lives, futures and livelihoods depending on that word, and when we receive the opposite it’s cataclysmic to our self-esteem.
Everything is ruined, that is until you find something else to daydream about — therein lies the solution. The second you hear the word “no” there is always going to be someone out there who will say “yes” — that’s the hope you must hold onto.
Part of being mature is allowing yourself to swim freely around barriers without having it affect your groove — not sweating the small stuff. It’s easier said than done I know. A constant stream of rejection means nothing until you allow it to define you.
When you tell yourself you’re a reject, a discard, it will become your identity. Soon you’ll enter every project and every encounter believing you are to be rejected.
Instead of letting the word “no” become your identity, what you ought to do is change the meaning of it to “not right now.” Sometimes we truly aren’t ready, other times when they say no they don’t think you’re a reject; they were looking for something different — and being different isn’t bad, it’s just different and if anything, as an individual you want to be different!
Every tear that rolls down your cheeks makes that giggle more meaningful, because you know how healing it can be. Without rejection you will never be able to appreciate the opportunities in life when they appear. Hearing the word “no” should never mean “never.” Change your outlook on the word, and your entire life will become one giant YES.
Originally published at inanyeventlondon.com on October 27, 2015.