I Need a Miracle to Save My Marriage: 7 Powerful Steps

The Lonely Journey of Holding On

Amirinedafx
5 min readJul 16, 2024

Have you ever felt like you’re the only one fighting for your marriage? Like you’re desperately clinging to a fraying rope while your spouse has already let go? It’s a heart-wrenching, isolating experience that can leave you feeling lost and hopeless. You might find yourself lying awake at night, your mind racing with thoughts of what went wrong and how to fix it. Or maybe you’re thankful for the solitude, allowing yourself to fall apart without your spouse seeing your vulnerability.

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I’ve been there. Four times, in fact. I know the sting of rejection and the suffocating loneliness that comes with watching your world crumble. Each time, I faced the daunting question: do I fight or do I give up? It took me twenty years to learn how to fight for my marriage the right way. But through it all, I discovered that sometimes, what we need isn’t just a miracle to save our marriage — it’s the strength to keep going, no matter the outcome.

What if You’re the Only One Holding On?

If you find yourself in this position, know that you’re not alone. There are resources and support available to help you navigate this challenging time. Remember, even if your spouse isn’t willing to work on the marriage, you can still grow and heal through this process.

Seek Help from God

In times of marital crisis, turning to faith can provide immense comfort and guidance. Spend time in prayer, worship, and meditation. Let God be your source of strength, peace, and wisdom. As the Bible says, “Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you” (1 Peter 5:7).

Get Professional Help

Don’t hesitate to seek professional counseling or join support groups. Look for Christ-centered counselors who believe in the covenant of marriage and can guide you towards restoration. Remember, even if your spouse won’t attend, individual counseling can still be incredibly beneficial for your personal growth and healing.

Educate Yourself

There’s a wealth of resources available to help you understand and work on your marriage. Consider reading books like “Hope for the Separated” by Gary Chapman or “Love Must Be Tough” by Dr. James Dobson. These resources can provide valuable insights and strategies for navigating this difficult time.

Lessons from Personal Experience

Through my own journey, I’ve learned some crucial lessons about fighting for a marriage:

  • Pray fervently for your spouse and yourself
  • Hold onto hope, even when things seem hopeless
  • Give your spouse space, but remain an attractive option
  • Clearly state your position and desire for reconciliation
  • Avoid begging, fighting, or preaching to your spouse

The Marriage Miracle I Was Desperate For

Sometimes, the miracle we need isn’t what we expect. I remember the day I received that devastating voicemail from my wife, declaring our marriage over due to my infidelity. I felt my world imploding, and I desperately needed a miracle to save my marriage.

But the real miracle came in an unexpected form. It wasn’t about saving my marriage; it was about saving my life. When I was at my lowest point, contemplating ending it all, God sent my stepbrother to intervene. He found me, sat with me, and reminded me of the son who needed his father.

Later, when I felt I couldn’t even get out of bed, God gave me the strength to keep fighting, one small step at a time. And through it all, I realized that the true miracle wasn’t about saving my marriage — it was about saving me, transforming me, and using my pain to help others.

Prayers for Marriage When You Need a Miracle

When you’re facing seemingly insurmountable marital challenges, prayer can be a powerful tool. Here are some prayers to guide you:

Pray for Your Heart to Grow in God’s Love

“Father, help my roots grow deep into Your love. Empower me with inner strength through Your Spirit. May I understand the vastness of Your love and be filled with Your fullness.”

Pray for the Spirit’s Empowerment to Love Sacrificially

“God, help me imitate You in my marriage. Teach me to love sacrificially, offering myself — my time, gentleness, empathy, and service — to my spouse. Use my kindness to soften their heart towards You and me.”

Pray for God to Turn Ashes into Beauty

“Lord, where there are ashes in my marriage, bring beauty. Replace mourning with gladness, and dress us in garments of praise. Make our marriage an oak of righteousness for Your glory.”

Pray for God to Light Up the Darkness

“Creator God, shine Your light into the dark places of my marriage. Where there is uncertainty, unrighteousness, or despair, let Your light of goodness, knowledge, and warmth chase away the shadows.”

Frequently Asked Questions

1. What if my spouse refuses counseling?

Even if your spouse won’t attend counseling, you can still benefit from individual therapy. Focus on your personal growth and healing, which can positively impact your marriage.

2. How do I know when it’s time to give up on my marriage?

This is a deeply personal decision. Consider seeking guidance from a trusted counselor or spiritual advisor. Remember, as long as there’s no abuse involved, there’s always hope for reconciliation.

3. Can a marriage survive infidelity?

Yes, many marriages do survive and even thrive after infidelity. It requires hard work, commitment from both partners, and often professional help, but healing is possible.

4. How can I improve communication with my spouse?

Practice active listening, express yourself calmly and clearly, and avoid blame. Consider learning about “I” statements and other effective communication techniques.

5. What if I still love my spouse, but they say they don’t love me?

Focus on showing love through actions rather than words. Sometimes, consistent acts of kindness and respect can rekindle lost feelings.

6. How long should I wait for my spouse to change their mind about divorce?

There’s no set timeframe. Continue to work on yourself and pray for guidance. Remember, even if divorce happens, your personal growth will benefit you and your children.

7. Is it normal to feel hopeless about my marriage?

Yes, it’s common to feel hopeless at times. However, remember that feelings aren’t facts. Many marriages have been restored even when things seemed hopeless.

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