So you ask a lot of questions? Good. You’re already winning.
People often walk around spouting words of wisdom whenever you’re first getting to know a romantic interest: “Oh! And don’t forget to ask a lot of questions. That’s the most important part. “
An initial response might be, of course! Why wouldn’t you ask a ton of questions on the first date?
Yes, you now look considerate, interested, even curious to know more. People not only adore the interest, they’re feeling discovered. As if the other person has focused, particular interest in them and them alone. Sexy right?
But I have another theory. The inquirers are smart. Inquirers, though they very well may be genuinely interested, they are also appealing to a fundamental human element.
Of all things humans could possibly talk about, there is no content more than that of the things we witness and observe, except for what we can say about ourselves.
The latter is the key here.
We are connoisseurs of telling our own story, and we can go on forever.
Asking questions feeds an individual’s vanity, so much so that conversations for many pairs ends up being a one sided ping pong match.
Perhaps the speaker notices after a while, and perhaps even feels rude for not reciprocating. That sinking remorse just contrasts how great you suddenly more look.
Face to face interactions have a cadence that differs from digital interactions. In the distance between reading, writing, and receiving a new message, people become aware of the discrepancy. Regardless, the face to face interaction will solidify any connection. The common online interaction will only partially satisfy a user until an in person meeting lives up to their expectations.
Humans are truly vain creatures, and dating tends to poke at this Pandora’s Box.
Both parties want someone to hear their story, to be in awe, wonder, or excitement from their thoughts and experiences.
However, I believe that what both parties really want is a witness.We want someone to be there to witness all of our moments, and better yet experience them with us.
Skip the talking, more exciting things are done out of our chairs.