Your Connection To Others Is Only As Deep As Your Connection To Yourself
Research professor at the University of Houston and writer Dr. Brené Brown, who spent two decades of her life studying the emotions of shame, vulnerability, empathy and courage says, as quoted from one of her talks, “Your connection to others is only as deep as your connection to yourself”. This quote essentially emphasizes the significance of self-awareness and self-connection in cultivating profound and meaningful relationships with people in our lives, be it in our home, workplace or social settings.
Here are three points with examples to illustrate how this quote may be relevant in our everyday modern lives:
1) Authentic Communication:
Imagine you are in a romantic relationship and actively cultivate a deep connection to yourself, which means you understand your needs, wants and desires fairly well. When you communicate your needs authentically to your partner it creates an atmosphere of trust, thereby fostering intimacy by offering the partner the opportunity to listen intentionally.
For instance, if you express your need for quality time together because it aligns with your values, your partner is more likely to respond positively and reciprocate. In Think Like A Monk, Jay Shetty says, “The vulnerability of exposing yourself is a way of giving trust and showing respect for another person’s opinion”, hence suggesting that you voicing your needs and desires allows the other person to explore previous experiences and beliefs you carry forth into whatever it is that you may do together. This mutual authenticity in expressing and listening strengthens the bond between two people, as they both feel understood and respected for their true selves.
2) Empathy and Effective Conflict Resolution:
Let’s suppose that you are someone that makes conscious effort to develop an awareness of your triggers and emotions. In a conflict with a colleague at work for example, instead of reacting defensively to criticism or negative feedback, you take a few moments to reflect on your feelings and motivations.
The self-awareness that you have nurtured equips you to approach the conversation with empathy and understanding, while recognizing your own role in the situation. By communicating with radical honesty and also seeking to understand your colleague’s perspective, you are able to create space for resolution, growth and constructive conversation and collaboration in the workplace.
3) Healthy Boundaries and Honest Self-Expression:
Let’s say you have a close friend whom you’ve known for years. You both enjoy hanging out together but recently they have been inviting themselves over to your apartment without notice, while you are overwhelmed at your job and your social batteries are running out.
If you are attuned to your emotional needs in this situation, implying you are connected to yourself, you will recognize that your friend’s frequent, unannounced visits are causing you distress. This will lead you to address the issue with your friend instead of letting your discomfort fester, where you will effectively communicate that while you really value and enjoy the friendship, you need time and space to take care of your own well-being in order to show up as a good friend to the best of your ability.
Presuming your friend is also considerate and empathetic, they will be able to better understand your needs in the moment and provide you the space that you need, while also being able to enjoy your time spent together whenever that is. You expressing honestly and with vulnerability will allow your friend to respect the authentic side of you, which in turn will be conducive to healthy boundaries and an even healthier friendship.
Conclusion:
In everyday life by developing self-awareness, we can communicate authentically, empathize with others and establish healthy boundaries, all of which contribute to deeper and more meaningful relationships in our personal and professional lives. This implies that our connections with others are greatly influenced by our ability to understand and connect with the honest parts of ourselves.
