Ah, I see a problem. You actually expect the people with whom you interview to be competent, even more outlandish, you expect them to respect your competence. (Sigh) it largely doesn’t work that way.
Sucking up to incompetent people in power will get you everywhere. Whereas, competence typically gets you used and abused, especially if competent while being female. Observations from one who has run multitudes of investigations into employee misconduct.
Okay, so here’s a suggestion. I know you don’t want to suck up to an incompetent boss, actually (that’s a revolting game, is it not?)
But, it’s not so bad if you Suck up energetically. By that, I mean, before an interview (or even after) imagine the person is competent…imagine that they respect your competence and imagine that your interview is just delightful! (Basically tricking yourself into having- at least in your mind- the positive experience you are entitled to.)
Why bother? Because when we get stuck in certain emotional ruts, the first thing we must do, is change the emotional energy. It all starts in your mind. Your mind creates the energy. I wrote an article about this: Tesla, Jesus, Einstein and the Wave Particle Duality -something along those lines. Check it out if you like. I will try to link it later, when I’m off my phone and on my computer. I’m not trying to bug you (into reading my article) but you and I seem to share some of the same issues. I feel your pain. I do. These are the things I do, to inoculate myself against it. (When battling the Big D, you have to keep the energy moving.)
What if you can’t? So what! Then you can’t and that’s just fine too! Take all expectations off yourself if having them isn’t helping. Just be like, whatever. I am here. That’s good enough. You have survived this long, maybe not optimally, but you did it. Achievement 1, it’s enough. Don’t you dare let nobody tell you different.
Part 4 billion? Really? You’re such a cut-up!