For those concerned parents who are confused whether to educate their kids about porn or not, sex educators advised that parents should do so.
The subject of pornography can be scary for parents when it comes to talking to their children about it. Not to mention, it would be really awkward. Although, it is essential for parents to have the conversation with their kids if they want their young ones to grow up with a better and healthier understanding of sex.
A sexuality educator named Robin Wallace-Wright spoke with Huffington Post and expressed her frustration over the fact that many people are still refusing to believe that porn literacy is vital for the youth.
“I teach in many middle and high schools, and it is very apparent that students are getting a lot of their sex education through viewing porn. I see from the questions they ask me how it skews what healthy relationships and sex should be like, causes body image issues and unrealistic performance expectations,” she said.
As much as it is tough to admit, many children as young as five are already aware of pornography and have seen much explicit stuff due to their access to technology. They can literally watch any X-rated video they want as long as they have a mobile device or a computer and the internet. Also, some video games also display inappropriate things that can taunt the child’s curiosity with pornography.
For the sex educators, they suggested that it is a wise decision for parents to have the conversation with their children about porn. They also gave some advice on how to go through with it.
HAVE THE CHAT AS EARLY AS POSSIBLE
Kim Cavill, a sex educator, said that preliminary research revealed that the average age for boys to watch porn for the first time is between 10 and 12. For girls, it is 11 to 13. Cavill advised that parents should have the chat before their child reaches that age.
Children tend to get curious about their bodies, especially when they reach puberty. This could be one of the factors why they also become curious about porn. In some cases, children would run into porn accidentally when they surf through the internet.
“Talking with children helps prepare them and can help minimize potential harm. It also allows the parent to give the child some insight into what they may see,” said Wallace-Wright.
KEEP CALM AND TELL THEM BEING CURIOUS IS NATURAL
When talking to your kids about a sensitive subject like such, it is helpful for parents to speak calmly and in neutral tones, as suggested by Wallace-Wright.
Another sex educator, Melissa Carnagey, also said that parents should emphasize that their children’s curiosity is normal.
“Always let them know that their curiosity about sex, about nudity, about bodies, about porn is normal,” she said.
PORN IS NOT REAL
It should be made clear to children that pornography was made as a form of entertainment for adults and sex in real life is very different from what they might see or might have already seen.
Cavill shared, “I always make sure to say that pornography is sex as entertainment. It is not sex in real life.”
Parents should also take note that they need to emphasize to the young ones that pornography is not the best way to be knowledgeable about sex. Carnagey explained that many of the mainstream pornography send “mixed messages” and also tend to give the wrong ideas about the body.
“Oftentimes in mainstream porn, they’re not showing condom use or other contraceptive use, so it’s not a healthy representation of sex. Porn is an industry that’s for profit, not sex education. It’s not going to give a curious child accurate information about relationships, bodies and sex,” said Carnagey.
GO THROUGH EACH REASON WHY PORN IS DIFFERENT FROM SEX IN REAL LIFE
Many factors make up the differences between the two, including issues on gender roles and the objectification of the body.
“Porn is acting. Actors are paid to do what they do. This is not what real sex looks or sounds like,” insisted Wallace-Wright. She also said that parents should tell their children, “The only thing that appears to be of value in porn is how sexually desirable a person’s body is. Your value is so much more than what you look like ― it includes your personality, character, interests, talents ― all the things that make you you!”
It is important that children fully understand that they don’t owe anything to anyone and they shouldn’t do anything that they don’t want to do.
OTHER WAYS TO KEEP YOUR KIDS INFORMED
For those parents who are having trouble explaining to their children what pornography is all about, there are websites and hundreds of videos that can make it easier. They are like modern guidelines that can help parents easily discuss pornography to their children.
For Carnagey and Cavill, they recommended fun and age-appropriate videos by Amaze.org on YouTube.
All in all, the most important thing is that parents should make it clear to their children that they can always come to them for anything and everything.
Source: AmoMama
