If this is ‘power’… you can have it back.
A couple of weeks ago I sent back my British Empire Medal to the Lord Lieutenant of West Midlands. This is a copy of the letter I sent.
I remember seeing people with MBE and OBE after their name, probably the 90s/2000s version of a blue Twitter tick and thinking, “ooh, they’re official!”. I had internalised the validation of these people: they were seen and accepted. In my own life, I had longed for that.
I received the BEM based on my work running social enterprises from the age of 15. I remember doing a Sky News interview where a load of dancers from my past classes hopped along behind me jauntily as I did a quick interview about it. I remember saying “I’m proud of being recognised for my work in communities (or something to this affect) but of course I was hesitant because of the connection to Empire”. Watching back at 6pm I was surprised to see only the first half of this sentence air. The most generous part of me wrote it off as the necessity of editing, the most cynical saw it for what it probably was: an editing and censoring of me speaking about the complexities of accepting. I learnt to keep quiet and sit with my discomfort.
I’m choosing to share this now. Reflecting on our history and our presentation of that history is work we all need to do, and it should determine how we move forwards, actively.
Only 6% of these honours go to Black, Asian and minoritised backgrounds. It is not representative of the people who contribute to public life. If it was, every key worker and NHS worker right now would be on the Queen’s next list. But the fight here, I think, is not to get more people to get these awards. It’s to get more to consider giving them back.
We need a new system of recognition and honours for service to public life that is divorced from Empire and colonialism. As statues fall, so much the other antiquated symbols and emblems that do not represent the country we live in today and definitely not the one we are building for tomorrow.
We need better education for young people on British history and heritage. Not whitewashed. The full picture should be understood and acknowledged including the history of Commonwealth so that we can explore what it means to move forwards. I am still learning. I have so much more to do and to understand. This is something I intend to reflect on and push actively through my role on the Legacy and Benefits committee of Birmingham2022.
I knew at 23 the word Empire was ‘icky’. What I didn’t know what the full extent to which its legacy is enshrined and protected in the honours system.
Everyday in my work I’m concerned with young people getting more influence and power. As I said in my letter, that also means knowing when to give a bit of it up or back, stepping back and saying “if this is power, if this is validation; I don’t want it”.
END
A thank you:
I am so grateful to everyone who has helped me get to this point and to this decision. To those who put me forward in the first place wanting to help me get confidence and a platform, to the dancers of my first social enterprise Strictly Street, to the trailblazers of the community at Beatfreeks from 2013 right through to my team today. Thank you to my sisters for helping me find the words to share. A thank you to my husband and to my son, Arlo, who remind me I am brave, accepted and loved no matter what.
