I attended a writing seminar in St. Louis MO with my daughters. The instructor introduced all of us to ‘Medium’. After advising everyone how to create an account and the benefits of the site, he encouraged us all to open a draft and do our writing assignment on the site. To say this is a ‘rough draft’ is an understatement. Bear with me…

10 topics that interest me:

1. Dogs —

Q: Why do dogs love me so much?

A: Ive found that dogs love me because I understand them and appreciate their moods and behavior.

2. Wine-

Q: Wine is delicious and creates a happy buzz, why don’t more people drink it?

A: People are intimidated by wine, or used to be. It’s becoming more popular. I believe it used to have the stigma of only being something old people drank, or rich people…luckily that is not really the case.

3. Sex-

Q: How can we encourage young people to be less embarrassed about sex and their sexuality/body?

A: Parents need to be open and honest (age appropriate) about sexuality and always remain body positive. People who appear embarrassed by certain questions/topics are going to transfer that same embarrassment to their kids.

4. Relationships-

Q: WTF — are humans built to be monogamous?

A: Maybe. I believe people change so much throughout life that the person that you are so in love with at a younger age may not appeal to you as you get older and more mature. I do also believe that if you are truly dedicated and want to remain together, both parties, that you can grow together. Sadly, most people don't have the patience to do so.

5. Business —

Q: How can I learn more about such a diverse group of customers and retain the knowledge?

A: Subscribe to industry specific news articles and journals. I set up a calendar reminder each week to search for news about certain customers.

6. Managing People —

Q: What can I do differently to create a sense of ‘team’ with my employees who all work so far away from each other?

A: Regular team calls — sending people from other sites to work with other team members.

7. Home decorating 

Q: Is it okay to have multiple themes in different rooms?

A: I think in your own home, you should make it feel like a version of you. Most of us are very diverse and like many different things about so many places, we should definitely incorporate that into our homes.

8. Home improvement —

Q: Repairing/restoring an old home, is it okay to paint that wood!?

A: Paint that shit! It probably looks like crap anyway.

9. Travel —

Q: What do I want to get out of a ‘vacation’?

A: My ideal vacation always involves a fair bit of relaxation. Carl is the opposite, what can we do, where can we go where both of us can enjoy the trip?

10. Future plans —

Q: What is a feasible, realistic option for retirement?

A: RV BABY!!!!!!!

Relationships: Are humans built to be monogamous?

Maybe. I believe people change so much throughout life that the person that you are so in love with at a younger age may not appeal to you as you get older and more mature. Your wants and needs grow with you and change as you mature, why wouldn’t your romantic desires? A person may truly, honestly, be ‘in love’ with someone else at some point in their life and then learn new things about that special someone that changes everything. He was engaged before!? He doesn’t love dogs? She doesn’t want to have kids? She is pro-choice? I dont think its possible to ask every possible important question about someone’s likes and life goals … these are things we eventually discover the more we get to know them. What if we eventually stumble on that one thing that we cant get past? Do we live with it, accept it or end the whole thing and start over? That really is the One Million dollar question.

I believe that if you are truly dedicated and want to remain together, both parties, that you can grow together. I think most of the time you can get past whatever has you at odds and come to a truce. Sadly, most people don’t have the patience to do so. By the time you discover the dirty deed that caused you pause, you are more than likely past the ‘in love’ phase of the relationship, or nearing its end. Once you get past this phase, most people are hyper sensitive to their partners ‘negative’ qualities anyway so stumbling upon a deal breaker is a usually an easy way out. Some people want the ‘in love’ phase of relationships so much they jump from love to love and exit right at the end of the good part, never learning how to adapt and truly love another. Can you find out something about your lover that causes you to consider separation and still somehow learn to work through it? I think if both of you are open to discussion and acceptance of your differences you can work through it and have a long happy relationship. Especially if you are both open to counseling. I also believe that sometimes there are recurring issues that build over time that get to a point where you just cant do it anymore. You may not even be interested in seeking to find a new love, you just want out of what is driving you insane. Sometimes being alone sounds wonderful. To some, being alone sounds horrible…and scary. This fear is what drives that individual to accept the unacceptable in their relationship. Everyone is different.

While it would be wonderful to have an established list of wants/needs created before we ever start dating, that isn’t the reality…and as we grow and mature, so does our list. Learning to really hone in to our personal desires for our lives is the key to choosing the right partner.

Does being married change things? Are you locked in for life? Not necessarily. You do only get ONE life.