“Are you serious?”
“Very.”
“Don’t I have anything to say about it?”
“Sure. You can say what you want, but it’ll have no influence on me. And this time “no” damn well means no. No alcohol, no pot, no fatty foods, and no sex for three days. Besides, I think you’ll thank me later. On day four, I’m going to be hungry for some of everything.”
I could see she was serious, so I said, “Okay, when does it start? Do we have time for one last… whatever?”
“No. It starts right now, today at 9:00 am, and it ends Saturday at 9:00 am, and not a minute sooner.”
I sulked the rest of the afternoon, but by five o’clock I decided to skip my usual martini. Solidarity and all that shit.
She got into bed that night in her usual T-shirt and panties. I assumed she would tumble into my arms, and we could at least enjoy holding each other while we slept, but noooo. With her index finger, she drew a line down the middle of the bed. “That’s your side. This is my side. Stay over there!”
In the morning, I wriggled over to her side and slipped my hand up her shirt to cup her breast while I pushed my morning wood against her butt. She sighed in her sleep and leaned back into me. Then she yelled and bolted out of bed. She made it clear that I would be spending the next two nights in…
