Why Are We So Obsessed With Eachother?
We are constantly looking at eachother, comparing every inch of us to every inch of everyone else. We’re constantly mimicking and assessing social situations to fit it.
Why the hell are we so obsessed with eachother?
For a community that prides itself on individualism and being different from one another, are we really that different? Sure, we wear similar clothes, listen to similar music, like similar foods, but surely the way we think is unique to us and our own special lives.
Well… I hate to break it to you, but
You are not special, like at ALL!
The way we think is made up of thoughts and ideas that we’ve heard from other people throughout our lives, who heard from other people in their lives, etc etc. We are a compliation of things we either heard from our parents, friends, teachers, or other prominent figures in our childhoods.
What we were told when we were young shaped our brain in a certain way, so that we would turn into little mini images of the people we listened to. And yes, EVERYONE took in thought patterns from someone. If it wasn’t your parents, it was probably your friends, or someone famous you had a thing for.
Sorry my Love, you are not special.
The second thing that makes us not special is that no matter who you are; you are OBSESSED with what others are doing, saying, what they have /don’t have. You are constantly comparing yourself to others.
Say we’re in a theatre, there is a form of social correctness that goes along with it. Everyone is clapping and laughing at the appropriate times, and no one is running around in the audience yelling “THIS PLAY SUCKS!!” — that would be socially appauling.
See; we are all obsessed with fitting in somewhat. Even the rebels /outcasts want to fit in with their chosen community. The person who thinks it’s okay to run around a theatre yelling and screaming probably thinks that’s what anarchists do (another group for him to belong to).
We all want to fit in.
We Judge others as a way to tell us how we should act.
We love assessing other people and they get to tell us how we should act. We sit in coffee shops, saying nothing until someone else speaks up. We form lines at the bank, as not to disturb the status quo. We group with people who follow the norms we’ve been told and we don’t waver.
So how come???
We’ll it comes down to biological dominance.
When we lived in caves, we often had to stick together in order to survive our predators. We developed language and eventually ended up relying on eachother. It’s one of the reasons HOW we survived.
What’s different now is there’s no lions chasing us. There is literally nothing bad about acting differently than the people around you, however it’s imbedded in our DNA so deeply that it really does feel like it could kill us to separate from the pack.
Now don’t get me wrong, we are pack animals and we need community. But there is a difference between being obsessed and community driven.
Obsessing over Facebook, instagram, twitter, snapchat; all so we can assess how we should act or to see how we’re doing in comparison with eachother.
We are often caught in The Trap
Want to know the Cosmic Joke?
We are all trying to be eachother. The stay at home mom wants to be a model, the model wants to be a professor, the professor wants to be happy like the stay at home mom. And so it goes on. We are all miserable inside comparisons.
So how do we let this go and stop obsessing over what other people are doing? Do we need to delete our facebook pages, instagram accounts and snapchats? Are we doomed to be obsessed with eachother forever??
Well first thing’s first;
You are not the only you out there, and that’s okay! Stop trying to wish you were a different kind of person. It doesn’t work and you don’t want to spend your life trying to be something your not.
When you stop comparing, your REAL individuality gets to rise to the surface. Who you really are gets to come up. And YOU get to discover who that person is. But first — stop comparing.
No More Pretending
No more trying to be your mom, (or for some; unlike your mom). Stop trying to fight against your thoughts to change them. It won’t work and you’ll be exhausted for trying. Simply understand that all of your thoughts were things you heard, from someone in your past and they aren’t YOURS. So if they’re not yours then you don’t need to try to change them.
Maybe get rid of Facebook
Unfortunately, something that has caused connection with so many people has become a hell for people suffering from inferiority or superiorty complexes. The environment breeds comparison and despair.
So if you find that you can’t just use it to connect innocently with other people, and you’re on your news feed more than once a day. Try ditching it for a while, you’ll feel liberated and happier! Promise.