Aug 28, 2017 · 1 min read
FEEDBACK 10
Hello Jack
Cool scene! The moment the man says they’re early — yikes! Then the suspense builds. I like the final image — oops!
You hooked me so I started to wonder about the big picture. If man says “they’re early”, then he knows about a devious plan. (I’m assuming he’s a bad guy due to the description — ill fitting suit, sweating, says woman isn’t supposed to be there.) The comment about getting into the room makes me think trying to STOP something, though. Maybe I’m just making the wrong assumptions…? Bottom line, what’s really going on behind the scenes and do the few lines of dialogue support that reality?