Men Too


Sexual Violation and shame are so pervasive within the world. It also isn’t about sex. What is its root you ask then? Answer: POWER and CONTROL. Oh and a whole lot of pain and numbing out from it.Sex Abuse/Assault/addiction is the poison I believe that runs through the veins of all that is wrong in the world or at the root of what caused it. Human Trafficking one of the most vile of all sex crimes is everywhere; your neighborhood, war zones, Hollywood and more. I always say, “Sex abuse resembles something like a snake that bit someone at the begining of time and it then began to spread like a super virus. This snake bites people and then those people bite or violate someone else. There is also the spreading of the poison through contact…not direct bite. They allow their children to be violated/bitten, and or they create an addiction or mood disorder that violates, spreads the poison further, and further violating directly and indirectly….and the poison spreads. #metoo to those who posted in my facebook feed was this: And what if all the men who were also sexually abused/violated/assaulted started coming forward too? We might really start to address the dark beast of sexual violation and shame that curses, flows below and in the veins, at the root of all that is wrong and filled with separation on this planet. Btw #metoo in case you were wondering.

What if we stopped drawing gender lines on this because ladies…let me tell you, WOMEN cross this line too. There ARE female pedofiles and predators. I do not believe it is so rare. What I believe is that it is under reported. Oh but when it happens to men and LITTLE BOYS it’s supposed to be a win for them They are forced to smile far bigger than we are I assure you. Expected to celebrate and high five each other, while feeling deeply confused and sick inside, if they feel any of it all because those kind of weak emotions are not allowed. Men and Women both cross the line when they fail to speak up when they witness the abuse. Both genders cross that line when they stay with abusers which create abusers. In child protective services it is called failure to protect and parents can be charged with neglect. We do this to each other not just children far more often when we don’t speak up or look out for each other MEN and WOMEN.

Women cross a line when they go out with men for wealth and dress it up like marriage and love. Men are guilty here too, do you value yourself so little? What you don’t pay for sex? Please?Women come onto men, force themselves on them, and do all the same horrifying things men do, but when women do it, it’s more than okay. Oh wait….I have a word for it: EMPOWERING!!! Also while simultaneously beieng DISEMPOWERING! Interesting isn’t it. This “sexual revolution” or is it a “power revolution?” Women also hit men, ALL THE TIME. They actually do quite a few things that if men did outrage would insue of viral proportions I believe. How about how often we see women slapping or hitting men in TV or Movies? How about how often you see it every day and no one says ANYTHING!!! Just because we don’t do as much damage physically, it doesn’t mean it doesn’t do emotional damage or that it’s OK. Given men could actually be allowed to feel it. 
I assure you part of the problem is that men are not allowed to have emotions. Excuse me, that is incorrect, men are allowed two: Anger and Desire. They are all so shut down and just as violated, possibly more so than women are in some ways because of this. I have been holding space for the darkest stuff in society and treating trauma for 23 years from psychiatric hospitals to addiction treatment centers, working for child protective services, private practice and more importantly as a human for 50 years with an obsessive observation disorder of sorts. This problem is so complex and even unconscious we are just scratching the service with #metoo. The blinders, accountability, self healing, and some really deep inner reflection and courage to look really deep into ourselves, both MEN AND WOMEN needs to happen. Ask ourselves how did we get to this brink of human, animal, environmental, and earth violation and separation? And How do we find our way home to love, reverence and connection?