“He’s such a fucking martyr” my mom once said about my favorite Downton Abbey character, Matthew Crawley. It was true. When we watched Downton, Matthew did tend to find himself in a place of “woe is me,” which would perhaps be unbecoming if I actually knew him. Apparently, though, that is what I like in my fictional characters. That is something I determined while watching Captain America: Civil War, a movie about people feeling torn between two values.

Steve Rodgers has always been a favorite Avenger for me. In his first movie, we watch him sacrifice himself for what’s right time and time again. And so it continues in the third installment. I haven’t gotten tired of it yet. It’s beautiful to watch someone choose to get massively fucked up for what they believe is right, and that is exactly what Civil War is about. Too bad this alone cannot carry a movie.

The premise is pretty fascinating. After several cities have been ruined by the Avengers, everyone is pretty damn tired and they’re ready to regulate superheroes. The United Nations tries to get our heroes to sign the Slokovia Accords. They essentially state that the Avengers can only go at the signal of the U.N. Good, right? Tony Stark, uncharacteristically, puts aside his libertarian ideals because of his guilt. He wants someone to make sure he doesn’t kill too many innocents any more. Steve refuses to sign because after the events of The Winter Soldier, he doesn’t trust any organization to be their handlers. The U.N. might have secret agenda!

Alright. Throughout the movie, no one discusses the even more obvious drawback that democracy is slow. In an emergency, getting the UN to vote on whether the Avengers can be involved would be a hard task. Nor is it pointed out that they could try to argue their stipulations before signing. Trying to draw in Real Meaning with politic is pointless when few rules of realism apply (other than feelings of grief and guilt).

At least one writer must have caught on to that, because the actual reason anyone has any fun watching this movie is the relationships. Many a fan wrote about The Winter Soldier as a love story between Bucky and Steve, and it’s continued somewhat. Another facet of the argument between Cap and Iron Man is how accountable Bucky should be held for his actions as the Winter Soldier. Stark wants him locked up as a dangerous criminal. Rodgers argues that he had no free will and therefore should have to pay for what happened.

Similarly, the film explores what it’s like for Natasha Romanov to be on the opposite side of Rogers, as they’ve grown very close; and for Wanda Maximoff as she’s also wracked with guilt about people they’ve killed. Oddly, the film makes no mention of Maximoff’s dead brother despite her terrible emotional state, but it’s okay because she seems sad enough already about everything going.

Unfortunately, we’re constantly sidetracked by everything else the movie throws at us. A teenager Spiderman is introduced, only to have him talk a lot and highlight that no one in this film has any idea how teenagers think and talk (who the hell refers to any Star Wars film as “that really old movie”?). Ant Man is brought over from his film as well, also seemingly only to be annoying. It makes Black Panther’s introduction, though it actually fits into the plot well, seem like a tacky advertisement for his future film.

All in all, 3/5.