Before I Go

I see the girl with the red hair dyed brown.

Fixate, draw me a picture of how this plays out.

Why am I at this music festival?

Pop a pill, maybe two. Went from honor roll to

Drug deals gone wrong.

Drop some acid,

smoke a blunt in the back seat

of the David Bowie look a-like’s car.

Quality chicks don’t spend time here.

Does it really matter how far I go?

Mom is a hater and Dad says the disease changed me.

Bowie clone is warm caramel

drizzled on a sundae

and I’m marshmallow innocent.

His face pressed up against mine,

smells like weed.

We have no blood,

just liquefied smoke.

I’m gonna croak sooner than I want to,

plan to.

Bad girls expire like milk after two months, and sick girls

go fast.

Like a page in a book no one noticed was missing.

I’m always quarantined,

Put in a box

because

The outside world is contagious,

Iniquitous.

I wasn’t supposed to die this way,

The Christians promised me that if I didn’t sin,

I’d live forever and here I am,

Disappearing today.

I started selling my meds last week,

I wanted to visit the Blue Grotto before I go.

Can’t swim, but drowning seems peaceful

Like being killed by my own sorrow.

I was an old newspaper to him,

Best left in the trash.

And my friends left me behind to chase their dreams,

[they didn’t know I was sick]

I’m being smothered by indifference.

Doesn’t anyone care?

See?

Me?

The girl with the red hair dyed brown is getting raped,

shit,

it’s not like I can help.

Failed geometry, algebra,

Community college wouldn’t take me.

Maybe that’s why Grey Goose is so tasty.

“Fill me with your liquid bane instead”

[I’m dying anyway]

I can dispel apathy.

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