Out of Control

~by Amy Marchand Collins 10/18/2017

“You’re out of control”

He said with a snarl

Over my anger and tears

(Though to be sure

I was no louder than he)

From somewhere within me

I found this reply

“Damn right! I AM”

(His surprise gave me some glee)

“I’m out of YOUR control

“And my Dad’s

And my Mom’s

And GrandDad’s

And Gramere’s

And the Pope’s

I’m out of the neighbor’s control

And of Bob’s

I’m not even controlled

by my hopes.

I’m not controlled by my brother

My teachers,

My friends,

My government either

We’ve seen how that ends

How dare they tell ME

“Let it Go” or “Calm Down!?”

When California is burning

Whilst other states drown?

When NFL players

who’ve been taking a knee

To protest black men shot by police, Lose their jobs?

But it’s the kneeling’s the problem to the commander in chief.

Not righting these longstanding wrongs

When hurricane victims aren’t treated the same

“We’re here for you Texas!”

Florida, same

But Puerto Rico,

for the citizens there?

Just paper towels,

tossed up in the air

As if they were prizes given out at a game

Still No water, no electric, no medical care

But the president just wants

to feud with the mayor

There’s far too much pain

And. far more to do

To just “turn that frown upside down”

How dare you think to tell me to smile?

When I’m frightened of what’s yet to come

When the supposed leader of the free world

Wants the last fifty years’ progress undone.

When he watches Fox “News” and

Starts Twitter wars

And cares not for anyone else?

No compassion,

He cares not that citizens will

— and have — died

From lack of healthcare or disaster relief.

Yet “’Very fine people’ there were on both sides”

Was his comment

When Nazis marched in our streets

And the white supremacists

who voted for him

No longer hide under sheets

And now that the curtain’s been pulled back on crimes

that Weinstein committed for years

The Me Too’s on Facebook make it perfectly clear

That nearly all women who live in these times

Have tasted of that kind of fear

I’m out of control

You can bet that that’s true

Never again will I overrule

My own inner knowing

Of what’s safe

— -and what’s not

Don’t want to be nobody’s fool

I’ve learned far too much

Come much too far

To hand over my life

Like the keys to my car.

Because I’ve known pain

I’m resilient you see

And I know now full well Who I am

I know What I stand for

For I stand for Peace

And for Justice for All in this land

I know How to start over

I’ve done it before

And when to speak up —

You’ll hear even more from me

from now on

The pain I have lived through,

The work I have done

Have given me strength to build on

And while I would rather have avoided that pain

I’m determined my losses

will not be in vain

But I will wring good from them

For more than just me

For sharing my story

may help someone else

To feel a bit less alone

And that lights a candle

and lessens the dark

Though the hours

be long until dawn

If we are to survive

through this marathon night

To come through and

persist until dawn

We will need far more than just anger or spite

To fuel us to keep keeping on

For though rage can burn cleanly

It’s short-burst fuel

To sustain us long term,

we need Love

I’m not talking here

about airy ideas

Nor waiting for rescue that comes from above

No the Love that I mean

is in blood, sweat and tears —

In faltering strength that goes on

These times we live in call for uÿLove, Hope and Faith

And the greatest of these

Still is Love

Love takes care of each other

And always #persists

Doesn’t wait to be told

how to start

So I start where I am

And as I #resist

I see others also doing their part

Love is rooted in justice

So no one’s left out

It’s patient,

but helpless it’s not

Love’s always Kind

But I kid you not

That’s NOT

the same thing as nice!


I’m out of control

Our country is too.

Gaia needs our protection to thrive

Let’s control ourselves, shall we?

There’s much work to do.

What a glorious time to be alive!