Interview: Sex Worker Fashion #1
This series features interviews with current sex workers. The following is an interview with an escort and professional dominatrix in her 20s.
What do you think when you hear “sex worker fashion”? Is there a “sex worker look”?
When I hear “sex worker fashion” I think of dancewear, designer lingerie, mall brand lingerie, robes, matching bra and panty sets, thongs, latex, leather, lace, marabou trim, garter belts, stockings, stripper shoes, thigh socks, short dresses, dresses with a slit up the thigh, fishnets, animal print, cosplay, role-play costumes, high heels, boots, gloves, teddies that snap open at the crotch, etc. There isn’t one “sex worker look” by any means, though there are a lot of elements in common.
When I hear “sex worker fashion” I also think about how a lot of us when we’re off the clock enjoy being covered up and comfortable and entirely unsexy.
Do you have any sex worker fashion icons?
The only person I can think of is Anna Nicole Smith. But what an icon!
What are your thoughts on people who don’t do sex work wearing sex worker inspired styles? Are there any designers in particular who make what you’d consider “sex worker looks”?
I truly could not give less of a fuck if non-sex workers wear sex worker inspired styles. They might look silly but I can’t gather the energy to care. It’s sex workers’ jobs to be hot, so of course people like to imitate our style.
As for “sex worker looks,” there’s the obvious hooker brands of Agent Provocateur, Honey Birdette, Bordelle, Louboutin.
A detail about sex worker fashion that non-sex workers might not get is that there is utility to the brands sex workers often wear. Pleasers are made to be as comfortable as possible for long shifts on your feet. And the lingerie brands that are popular with hookers are made to look good in photographs.
Sex work is an umbrella term that includes a bunch of different types of sexual services and performances. Do workers doing different types of sexual labor dress differently?
Of course! In my time as a sex worker I’ve been an escort, a Domme*, a phone sex operator, a porn creator, a used panty and sock seller, briefly a cam model, and briefly a peep show booth worker. There’s overlap in the things you might wear for each gig, but there’s also a lot of difference.
As a phone sex operator obviously you can wear whatever the fuck you want. As a used panty seller my clients generally wanted me to wear cotton panties, and if the panties looked worn because I’d had them for a long time they’d be a more coveted pair. As an escort or Domme, I think the only time I could wear obviously old panties with a client is if they specifically got off on me being smelly. Escorting clients want you to look fuckable and scantily clad, and at times I’ve just put on a robe with nothing underneath for a session to create the image of me being a huge slut (and to avoid laundry). And then on the other hand, Domme clients sometimes want you to look covered, like even the idea of fucking you is completely unattainable for them.
Clients absolutely fetishize different elements of sex worker fashion. It’s most obvious in Domming, where a client might spend a significant part of the session just kissing your boots or high heels, or smelling your latex or leather. But all types of sex workers see clients who fetishize their fashion, which might lead them to dressing differently. Many escorting clients make wardrobe requests for thigh high stockings, garter belts, or yoga pants. And even though I’ve never been a stripper, I have a guy who likes to buy me pairs of Pleasers to take pictures in because he thinks they’re so hot.
Does stigmatization ever impact how you dress?
I’m very aware of what I wear when I’m around my girlfriend’s family, who know that I’m a sex worker and for months didn’t even want to speak with me because of it. If I’m walking into a hotel for an outcall I try not to be too obviously hooker-y, but I know I radiate hooker vibes anyway. And if I’m seeing a healthcare provider, I’m also pretty aware of what I’m wearing. Generally I pick from my wardrobe a little more carefully in these situations.
There’s never any winning in these situations, though. If I’m wearing an ankle-length full-sleeve gray baggy dress and someone knows I’m a whore, they’re still gonna see me as a whore. So considering it’s pointless, I do my best not to concern myself too much with how I’m being perceived. Caring too much about how others see me will make me crazy.
Sex work is getting a lot of media attention lately. Do you think sex work is seen as more “cool” now?
It’s part of our jobs to be alluring, and people respond to that. Some of the stigma against sex work is being challenged, in no small part due to the fact that sex workers are all over the internet speaking with their own voices. I think that helps some sex workers sometimes be seen as a bit more cool and counter-culture.
But it’s conditional. It depends on what kind of sex work you do, and also your race, trans status, how much you’re able to do the class pageantry. The same people who might think a Domme is super sexy and cool might also think street-based sex workers are disgusting. In fact, a Domme might go on Twitter and talk about how she finds street-based sex workers disgusting herself. Non-sex workers definitely see some whores as better than others, and some whores think they’re better than other whores too.
How do your clients or customers dress?
I can’t say I pay that much attention to how escort clients dress. At least where I work, their style is not the kind that grabs my attention. A lot of businessmen in suits, a lot of dads in shorts and t-shirts, a lot of techies in jeans and button-downs. I have a regular who sees me before he goes to the gym, so he wears his gym clothes. I had another regular who liked to wear novelty t-shirts for me because I always commented on them to make small talk.
Domme clients are different, because often the fashion is the fetish. A lot of Domme clients will wear feminine clothing in session with me — thigh high stockings, panties, etc. Some clients are into fashion that objectifies or depersonalizes them, so wearing things like zentai suits or gimp hoods might be part of the session. There is utility to fetish clothing, too, of course. A body harness or collar can be stylish, but its purpose is in being used to restrain them or guide them. Clients sometimes find wearing specific colors to be erotic too, like black or pink.
How has being a sex worker changed your personal style?
I don’t think I would have had an interest in designer fashion if I’d never become a sex worker. Before I did sex work, and for the first couple years I was working, most of my fashion came from thrift stores. I still enjoy thrifting, and some of my favorite work pieces are unique thrift store finds.
But sex work changed my relationship to clothes a lot. In many ways it’s still changing. My parents were abusive and as a kid I experienced a lot of material neglect. Like, some years my only outerwear for winter was a cotton hoodie, and I’d wear sneakers until there were holes in the soles and toes before they were replaced. I’ve always had an interest in fashion, but because of the neglect I had to express that interest in other ways. I loved those late-90s/early-00s online doll makers and dress-up games, and looking at fashion blogs online. When I became an adult and bought clothes for myself I felt guilty buying anything expensive, so I ended up doing a lot of thrifting or buying mall brands. As a sex worker, I found myself in a job where I both had the money for more expensive clothing and was surrounded by peers who were already wearing the more expensive clothing. And after being neglected, it was just nice to finally let myself buy nice clothes! So it became an element of my own style too. But my style is also still very influenced by those periods of my life.
Do you have a different fashion persona for work, or do you have one style for both work and your personal life?
For a while I thought of my work persona as being very separate from me, but increasingly I realize clients respond to the things that make sex workers unique. So the things I buy for work are generally things that fit within my sense of style. Though there are a lot of clothing items I’d never buy if I wasn’t a sex worker. Bra and panty sets are not a feature in my personal wardrobe, like, I wear sports bras on off days. I have a small collection of high heels for work, but I don’t wear heels in my day-to-day. There are certain parts of the sex worker wardrobe that I feel like I have to buy because clients respond to them or request them. But when I buy them, I try to buy them in my style.
I get my own sense of enjoyment out of playing with the typical tropes of sex worker fashion, and I love throwing in queer elements. I like seeing how much silliness I can get away with. Sometimes it lands and sometimes it doesn’t, but if I’m buying these clothes I want to like them. Playing with traditional hooker aesthetics can also sometimes feel like a subtle “fuck you” to the client. Like, I’ll do these fashion things that cater to you, but I’m still only here cuz I’m a crazy dyke!
*Professional dominatrix
