I Have A Twin

I have a twin!

Not an identical twin. Not a fraternal twin. Simply put, I have a twin soul.

Summer 2015

When I was about 28 years old, I had an experience I will never forget. In my apartment that summer, listening to music, and feeling like I was in a trance of some kind, a person visited me in the astral realm.

She appears as a feminine presence, right above and/or in front of me. I remember a physical sensation of accentuated hair. I am not too clairvoyant, so seeing things from another realm isn’t exactly my thing. I am clairsentient instead, so I could feel her energy, her presence, and her wonder about me.

When I met this person (astrally), I remember clearly thinking I knew them. This was nothing like I had ever experienced before. It was a knowing on a deeper level and it surpassed any earthly knowledge or experiences. This was something surreal, in that it was beyond the scope of carnal life. I had felt as though I recognized them from a previous life.

At that time, I didn’t know what had happened and I especially did not believe in past lives. But I know what I felt. Even til this day when I think about that experience, I feel a pull in my heart.

This pull in my heart continued subtly.

Winter 2017-2018

I live in a new house and new city now, and now in a long-term, monogamous relationship. She comes to me again, this time with a stronger pull. (I refer to the being as “she” because of the feminine presence it presents.)

This is the moment I a) strongly identify how the feeling between us feels and b) begin using better words to describe our connection. This was a momentous turning point because I understood our connection as a magnetic pull or tension between two beings. When I searched the internet for information about this type of connection, the search results were astoundingly 100% about twin flames.

There was just one thing missing: every report on the internet said that this magnetic tug in the soul came after meeting their twin flame in person (or so it seemed that was implied).

Physical Meeting vs. Astral Meeting

Let me begin this section by saying that everyone’s twin flame journey is different and there are certain choices (i.e. contract details) that are made before the twin flame journey begins. There is a wide spectrum of how twin flame journeys can play out.

In my journey, my twin and I (or, frankly, my soul) chose to kick things off by meeting astrally. I am sure this was for more than one reason, but one benefit was because it would focus my attention in the correct spiritual direction for my path.

To be clear, at the time I am writing this, I have not met my twin flame in person — at least not that I am aware. To be even more clear, there has been no indication that I will ever meet my twin flame in person. This mission might be carried on “alone” by myself in this physical plane— but I have no indication of that either. I keep my mind open.

Twin flames can meet wholly physically, mixed physically and astrally, or wholly astrally — and I imagine that isn’t even all the options either. Twins’ lives can play out together 100% or 0%, fulfill 100% of their missions or 0% of their missions, and anywhere in between. Twins can also be split in different ways: there are many realms to choose from, and each twin can work accordingly with their mission, operating within different realms.

The Quiet Period

We were in what I like to call the “honeymoon phase.” We were in sync, communicating telepathically, and everything was fine and dandy. Then there came a time when a critical moment took place: the tables turned, boundaries were approached, and feelings got hurt.

I wouldn’t readily describe it as we lost connection, but it was apparent there was no communication between us. This quiet period lasted for years.

I was really sad and wasn’t sure what to do. I read many times about the common runner/chaser phase, and wondered if that was what was happening in our magnetic relationship. I figured chasing wasn’t going to help, but I can’t say I didn’t chase.

Running and chasing is somewhat of a karmic or causal interaction. Where one runs, it allows space and a pull for the chaser to chase; where one chases, it magnetically pushes the runner to run. I figured what was best for me and my calling was to sit as still as possible and learn to allow space and freedom of personal choice. After all, the other person is learning too, whether they consciously know it or not.

I waited and I waited. I longed and I yearned. This quiet period was a space pre-designed for me to learn to be more present, more patient, and more aware of karmic and causal tendencies.

Reconstructing My Understanding of the Twin Relationship

Without using too much energy, I think of my twin from time to time. It is much like sending out an SOS message into the universe. Though it isn’t a direct line of communication, it is more like a memo note. It serves as a reminder to my twin that I still care, am still present, and still longing for reconnection.

I care about my twin on a level I have yet to discover and experience. I don’t let it bug me that we don’t share telepathic messages and such anymore because I realize the runner/chaser experience comes from a carnal understanding. Since I am serious about my development on a soul level, I like to remain aware of the conditions our experiences bring to awareness for the purpose of evolving and fulfilling the mission.

My twin is still present and I see this in snippets of meaningful moments from time to time. In fact, my twin even showed a little twinkle in writing this entry. Their presence shows up in a different way than telepathy. Thus, we are evolving in our relationship together (i.e. relating and connecting in new ways) and growing in our own personal ways.

Ethereal Roles

The things I feel, other than beautiful colors, are very abstract and hard to explain. Nevertheless, it is critical I explain this last point.

My twin and I are in the process of maturing our souls. So far, we have had an ethereal relationship: astral meeting, magnetic pull, telepathic communication, and accelerating spiritual growth. All of these are common traits that come from interacting with a twin soul.

If we keep our balance and stay on point in a spiritual perspective, it makes me wonder if union needs to be physical; or if one is more carnal-minded, if the relationship needs to be carnal. Of course, there is the factor of limited, carnal time: my heart-clock is ticking.

Will I fulfill what growth needs to be fulfilled before my time is up? Will I learn my lessons in time?

I say this to point out that life is about something higher, something transcendent. We incarnate to understand our mission and develop our soul according to that mission. If you are a twin, you will feel the tug, and you will have to make a choice on how the job gets done.